Happy New Year from Heather and Mike!

We're going to have a BLAST this evening! Anyone want our dinner reservations at Bravo?

Have a stuffed up, nauseous, raw-nosed New Year's like us!

The Time I Was Sick and then Went to the Market and Bought Surprisingly Healthy, Normal Things

I was pleasantly surprised that I didn't come home from the market with a bunch of random crap, because when I am sick, I usually end up buying ridiculous things and copious amounts of chocolate.

I also found an awesome-sounding recipe for Ginger Chicken Soup, and even though it doesn't call for quite this much, who could resist the GINGER SCORPION?

Anyway, I'll make that soup this weekend, or as soon as I have taste buds again.

Upon Which I Got My Ass Handed to Me

You know when people say, "My child is a genius?" Normally, you realize that they are just acting like any proud parents, and really, their child is just average. Cute, but average.

But seriously, my niece is a freaking genius.

After completely SCHOOLING the rest of the family - every single member of the family over on Christmas Eve - she turned to me. Now, I don't mean to toot my own horn (what am I saying? Of course I do), but I have some pretty wicked memory skillz. I aced history tests in high school without studying, just because my photographic memory could remember where terms and dates were pictured on a page.

Several examples could follow, but I'm already getting bored with this, so please enjoy a photo essay of the GAME OF THE DECADE:

ALEXIS, the 4.5-year-old,
versus AUNT HEATHER, the 29.5-year-old.

LET THE GAME BEGIN.

After tricking her aunt into picking the wrong card,
Alexis celebrates an early minor victory.

The elusive sparrow card.

She looks sweet, sure, but her SINISTER GENIUS lurks just underneath.

The final count.
My stack is on the right, sadly.

Alexis reigns supreme, which was deeply unsettling to her Aunt Heather, who ABSOLUTELY HATES to lose, but tried to rein in her insanity.

It was a Christmas Miracle.

The 27th of December

It just so happens that two of my favorite people in the WORLD share the same birthday.

Happy Birthday, MERRICK:

Happy Birthday, KELLY:

I hope that you both had fabulous birthdays! I love you!

A Quick Christmas Post

As referenced in yesterday's post, Mike was sick this holiday season, and with toddlers running about at all locations, he stayed away. I wish I could post a picture of us on Christmas Eve, as I looked DAMN GOOD, but he looked anemic and sad, so I guess it wouldn't be the happiest of Christmas pictures in front of the tree.

I love that my nieces love dinosaurs.
It gives me the excuse to buy these RAD pajamas.

One of the rare moments of quiet (with their Grandpa).

One of my favorite shots.
Look at my beautiful nieces!
(Wearing their tees from Threadless.)

It was an awesome Christmas and I was reminded yet again at how lucky I am to have such wonderful people in my life. Merry Christmas!

Christmas Lookie? Christmas Cookie?

It was a lovely Christmastime for me, but my poor Mike was sick as hell. With a sore throat, wicked congestion, and a stomach virus, he was in a constant state of misery, and all but banned from attending Christmas Eve at his parents' house and Christmas Day at my parents' place. I'm sure that it sounds harsh, but he was more than happy to alternate between staying in bed and taking long showers. And as of today, he's feeling much better.Thank you, Dayquil and Nyquil!

I've been busy though - between working until the 23rd, giving K-10 a place to crash, and attending as many Christmas events as possible, I decided to make cookies. A perfectly sane decision on my part, I'm sure.

I settled on two very different cookies, for no good reason. I'm sure that I could have made sugar cookies with ease, but why do that when you can make complicated shortbread cookies and gingerbread men?

So, gingerbread. I've never made gingerbread cookies before, and I'm glad that I waited until my 30th year on Earth before attempting the recipe, because I most certainly would have run away in terror had I tried with less baking experience under my belt. I'm not saying that they're difficult to make, but... Have you ever made gingerbread cookies before?

I was halfway through the recipe - I had creamed the butter and sugar, added the egg, it was looking lovely, la di dah, and it was time to add the molasses. I made sure to buy the "unsulphered" kind, as per the recipe instructions, and even though I have NO IDEA what that means, I know not to mess with directions when baking. One false move can ruin a recipe.

So I had this molasses, right?

What the hell is "blackstrap?" And Brer Rabbit? Really? My best guess is that it's made with bits of real rabbit, so you know it's good.

The smell though... oh my sweet God. It smelled like - and I am not kidding you - a cross between motor oil and barbecue sauce. I almost didn't make the cookies. Have you ever cooked with molasses? What the holy fuck is it anyway?

Yes, the dough really is supposed to look like a lump of poo.

Of course, they turned out just fine, but I definitely think that they are an acquired taste with the bitterness of the molasses. I'm not going to show you the Jackson Pollock-looking icing that ended up on the cookies, mostly because they have been eaten.

About to lose their heads.

The shortbread cookies are these crazy weird ones with pinenuts, rosemary, and lemon zest. I've made them before, and my dad loves them. It has become a sort of Christmas tradition, and I'm happy to make them for him. Of course, it usually helps to have everything on hand before getting the recipe underway, and my super sweet rasp was nowhere to be found. An important piece of equipment when zesting a lemon, and ultimately instrumental in making the recipe a success, there was no other solution but to find a new one.

So at ten o'clock at night on December 23rd, K-10 and I went to Macy's, Target, and Kohl's in search of a replacement (I think that it was at Mike's, but I haven't even thought to search for it). Also, did you know that Macy's was open for twenty-four hours? That's insane.

It wasn't until the next morning, after our traditional Christmas Eve breakfast, that we journeyed to Kerrytown and I found what I was looking for at Hollander's. And then K-10 headed to the hell on earth that is her mother's house, and I commenced with the shortbread baking.

Done!

Merry Christmas Cookies!

The World Without Us

Long, long ago, I caught an episode of a show on The Discovery Channel (or the like - I really don't remember), about what will happen to the world once humans are gone, and I was absolutely intrigued. And then I magically had a gift card to Borders, I saw this book, and the rest, as they say, was history.

I have been blabbing in people's faces for months now about the awesomeness of this book, even though I was reading it extremely slowly. Usually, I speed through books, but for some reason, The World Without Us became part of my morning and evening commute, and was something that I looked forward to. I read it in doctor's offices and while eating lunch, but really, I treated it as something to be savored.

I finally finished it, which is sad :( because I didn't want it to end, but happy! because I am now fully qualified to recommend it to you.

The author, Alan Weisman, is a brilliant writer. A journalist by trade, he writes about scientific and historic subjects with such interesting prose, that you are excited to learn!

God, I am such a nerd.

But honestly. It does not drag. It does not assume too much about its reader. It does not preach about global warming and recycling. Instead, it merely explains what will happen to this planet once humans are wiped out. He theorizes on what might cause a worldwide holocaust, but never really settles on a direct cause -- this is just fine with me. The possibility that the destruction of Homo sapien would be the result of more than one catastrophic event or disease is much more likely.

Weisman opens the book with a chapter about the Biolowieza Puszcza, a half-million acres of forest between Poland and Belarus. What makes this forest special is that it is the oldest surviving "old-growth, lowland wilderness." Once, all of Europe looked like this forest - something resembling what the author describes as what you might imagine as a child when someone read Grimm's Fairy Tale aloud. What happened?

People happened.

Weisman explores areas of the world that many will never see: Manhattan before people, and the biodiversity it once championed; the town of Pripyat, devastated by the Chernobyl disaster in 1986; atolls in the Pacific, teeming with more predators than prey; Olduvai Gorge and the cradle of civilization - what would have happened to this planet had humans not evolved?

The book is fascinating and uplifting, but always in the background is a dark, looming, depressing idea: Humans have changed and damaged the Earth in ways that may never be undone. The pollutants in our atmosphere, the radioactive waste we've buried underground - we may have ruined this Edenlike planet with our goals of technological advancement.

And yet, it's strangely satisfying to know that eventually - hopefully - it won't matter.

I originally thought that this book might be a bit dull, a bit too scholastic. But the reason that it succeeds is because of the clear, concise, interesting writing. Weisman hits it out of the park with this book.

I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from The World Without Us, a reminder that nothing is constant, that everything is liquid, and what we've built will one day be erased from the Earth:

"The upheavals and pressure will change it into something else. Just like trees buried in bogs a long time ago -- the geologic process, not biodegradation, changed them into oil and coal. Maybe high concentrations of plastics will turn into something like that. Eventually, they will change. Change is the hallmark of nature. Nothing remains the same."

Reasons to Love Ann Arbor #7

The Calm of Semester Break
(at Dawn)

West Hall

Liberty Plaza

Burton Tower

The Pillars of the Earth

Almost one thousand pages later, and I still want to read the sequel. The Pillars of the Earth surpassed my expectations and left me greedy for more.

The sequel started everything, really. I found the sequel, World Without End, on my porch when I forgot to cancel a main selection through my book club. I was pumped to read it, as its description brought to mind a world in the manner of Tolkien and Shannara, but with a little more historical truth and a little less fantasy. I wasn't too keen on reading the sequel before the original, so I got The Pillars of the Earth and started in on what I thought was going to be elves, fairies, and princesses.

Actually, it had no fantasy elements at all (unless... does witchcraft count? I don't think so, especially for the middle ages). ANYWAY, I was way off.

In fact, it was much more rooted in historical fiction, channeling the lives of real, medieval persons, and creating a story that was so epic, so entertaining, and so satisfying, that one really wanted to imagine that the secondary and tertiary characters existed alongside their historical counterparts.

The Pillars of the Earth is about the planning and construction of a great cathedral. And it's fiction. You might be thinking, "Wow, that sounds absolutely fascinating! Where can I find a copy of zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz." But listen! I am telling you that this book is amazingly interesting, with extremely well-developed characters, absolutely fantastic villains, and inspired prose.

The story has a huge cast of characters, but it focuses on the life of Phillip, a man raised in a monastery after his parents are brutally murdered before his eyes. He and his brother both become monks and lead lives of piety and solitude, and seem to enjoy their stations on Earth. Phillip is a beautifully complex character, steadfast in his love for Christ and the Church, and determined to do what's right, but eventually realizing that shrewdness can make the difference between a thriving community and a dying parish. Phillip becomes entangled in major political intrigue and his loyalty to the Church cannot save him from the law of the land, especially when the throne is up for grabs and allegiances mean everything.

I wholeheartedly recommend this book. I see that the mighty Oprah selected it for her book club a while back, and I have to agree with her choice. I can imagine people of many different backgrounds and enjoying this book, regardless of their individual beliefs. It's mainly a book about the relationships between people and the ways in which freedoms were denied or extinguished based on the time of birth, social class, and, of course, whether you were male or female, but above that, it's a tale of good versus evil. It's delicious.

I've recently discovered that this tale is to be made into a mini-series, and after sneaking a peak at the cast, I am BEYOND excited for its telecast. There are some excellent actors and actresses on hand, and it is going to be SO RAD.

I Hated Her So... Much...

I have to admit, I think that I am pretty hot shit when it comes to knowing about upcoming films and whatnot, so I am completely embarrassed to report that this one completely slipped me by.

Gore Verbinski, director of the Pirates of the Carribbean franchise (the first was fun and entertaining, the second suh-HUCKED and I explained why in my review, and I certainly didn't feel like wasting my time on the third. I've since heard that this was a good decision).

I mean, I'm sure that he's a fine director, but... but...

It's been announced that he's on board to direct a remake of Clue.

I will let that one sit and marinate for a while.

CLUE. With an absolutely brilliant cast, a hilarious script, and a huge cult following, it is to be remade into a "...global thriller and transmedia event that uses deductive reasoning as its storytelling engine."

SHUT UP. SHUT UUUUUUUPPP!

You know, I was pissed off about the Charade remake, annoyed with the idea of a Neverending Story remake, and pissed off again about the remake of The Women (have you seen the original? It's FANTASTIC).

But now? The flames... flames on the side of my face... I am MAD. From other articles I've read about this travesty, it sounds like they're taking the whodunit idea from the original movie (and board game, I suppose), and pretty much leaving everything else in the plot. It probably won't be a comedy.

So WHY use the original title?

If that's not the case, then Verbinski has many issues to realize including, how is a singing telegram girl going to show up at locales all over the world to sing and tap dance? This is just one problem. And as there is no way possible to replace the brilliant Madeline Kahn, I suggest that they cut the role of Mrs. White altogether. It's the only thing that makes sense.

CUT IT OUT HOLLYWOOD. CUT IT OUT IMMEDIATELY.

Nightlight

OH MY GOD.

Old Roommate Jen sent me a book. And it's hilarious. And I'm going to tell you about it.

Nightlight is the story of Belle Goose, a newcomer to Switchblade, Oregon, who falls in love with Edwart Mullen, a computer nerd with no interest in girls. Oh, and he's a vampire with a penchant for rhinestoned camisoles.

For example, here is the infamous quote from the back cover of Twilight:

"About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him - and I didn't know how potent that part might be - that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him."

And here is the same from Nightlight:

"About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him - which I assumed was wildly out of control - that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me."

The geniuses at the Harvard Lampoon have taken the absolute ridiculousness of Twilight and turned it into a parody that made me pee my pants. It's hilarious. Naturally, it drags at times, it's repetitive, and gets a little over the top, but then again -- so does Twilight.

Anyway, this is a gift that must go on. I suggest a Nightlight book chain. If you've read Twilight and thought that it was utter crap, great. If you devoured the series, greater! If you felt immense levels of embarrassment and self-pity while still devouring the series, well, then, you're in the same boat as me.

If you'd like to be a part of the book chain, email me at heather dot dcdonut at gmail dot com. Provide your name and mailing address, and thus, the chain will begin! When you've finished reading this ridiculousness, email me, and I'll send you the address of the next recipient.

It's a fraction of the size of Twilight, so I'm guessing that you'll finish it as quickly as me, and it won't weight too much to worry about an insane amount of postage.

Plus, they call him Edwart. That cracks my shit UP, y'all.

Return to Holland!

Mike went down to Columbus for the weekend, and I headed to Holland. The trip takes under three hours, and if you don't leave during rush hour, it's an absolutely lovely drive. Plus, there are at least four different Biggby coffee places on the route, which makes me happy.

When I dropped my stuff in the guest room, I was greeted in a way that did not surprise me in the slightest:

Ah, clean towels.
And something with which to shoot varmints.

We met up with a large number of people who composed their wedding party back in August, and spent a few hours at the local Mexican joint, getting drunk and somehow NOT getting thrown out.

Em and her puppies.

In true Heather and Emily fashion, we later passed out in the living room watching a movie (Anchorman this time), and slept in the next morning as Timmy went a-hunting. (No deer to be had that morning, at least not ones with good enough shots, but I still went home with a good amount of venison for Mike, as that's all that exists in their freezer.)

And then... I took a shower. A GLORIOUS shower. Seriously, it's the best shower I have ever had the pleasure of getting clean in, and it was all I could do to not stay under the amazing stream of water all morning. But we had lunch plans! Plans that included alcohol!

The best shower ever.
No, seriously.
The best. shower. EVER.

We headed to the New Holland Brewing Company, stopping to pick up Kellie on the way. Kellie is an AMAZING photographer, and shot Em and Tim's wedding. I plan on hiring her for an event in the future.

There was a Bloody Mary bar, but while the two of them headed up to "fit as much as possible on a skewer," I ordered a mixture of their two ciders, and it was a positively brilliant drink.

Big Beer, Little Beer

Anyway, it was yet another awesome visit, and I am excited to see the both of them on this side of the state come Christmas.

The Donut Debut of "Things My Boyfriend Says"

For over two years now, I've be quite aware that I am in a committed relationship with one of the funniest men I have ever met. Okay, THE funniest. (And I'm not just saying that for brownie points, sweetie. I mean it.)

The man makes me laugh like a psychopath about the smallest, most insignificant things, and always knows how to break the tension when it comes to my moods. Shudder.

So for the past two years or so, I've been recording some of the things that he says. Mostly for me, but also because I really think that they need to be shared.

I also realize that I am contributing to the size of his ego, of course. Anyway, without further ado, Things My Boyfriend Says, Volume One:

While watching golf:
Announcer, commenting on a long drive: "It doesn't have to look pretty, it just has to be effective."
Boyfriend: "Like a hooker."

Recent Wonderments

On Q-Tips:
If you're supposed to use them to clean and dry your outer ear, but not inside your ear, why does it feel so good?

On the size of my feet:
My friend gave me a pair of his daughter's shoes because she had outgrown them. She's nine. And they fit me perfectly. Is this something to be proud of, or ashamed about?

On the speed limit:
If the speed limit is 55 mph, was does everyone drive 45?

On meals:
Is a PB&J an acceptable meal at any time of the day?

On Christmas cards:
If I make my own cards, is mailing them on December 21 unacceptable?

On gifts:
If your father gets your mother the exact same gift that you got her, even though you TOLD HIM that you bought it back in October, who returns the gift when both people hate going to the mall?

On my insanity:
Was this picture really necessary?

Good Idea? Bad Idea? HORRENDOUS IDEA?

I haven't had highlights in my hair before. There, of course, was the Sun-In incident of 1997, in which I misunderstood the meaning of "heat-activated" and took it to mean that the sun would lighten my hair, while in reality I was bleached completely blond in a few days thanks to the power of my hair dryer.

A few weeks before my senior portraits were to be taken, my roots had grown a good three or four inches and I looked absolutely ridiculous. My mom was all, "Oh, hell no," and took me to the salon, at which I spent five hours getting foiled and fixed. The result was amazing, as the stylist had taken great care to color about five strands of hair at a time, alternating between my original hair color and the magical color of heat activation.

Fast forward twelve years. My hair regrew its v-card. Since it's quite fine, I barely use hair care products, save for the instances of leave-in conditioner and once-in-a-blue-moon mousse. Well, those and the seemingly never-ending bridesmaid hairdos. Seduced by a fantastically low fee, and the fact that my mom's hair has looked phenomenal lately, I journeyed to her stylist. (Just to be clear: I am NOT knocking this stylist, as she was super sweet and adorable, and clearly very good at her chosen profession. I just don't think that I was ready for the results of highlights of any kind.)

I don't think that I like it. I've lived with it for a week, and I am still unhappy. It's just not me. I want a little more subtlety, because even though the blond is pretty and youthful, it feels generic and fake on my head. Basically, I think that it's just the front part adding to my general pissiness.



Update: It's been almost two weeks since Hairdo: The Highlightening, and I have to admit that it's growing on me. I've not been using color-safe shampoo, so it has faded a bit, but there is that one big, fat, stupid highlight at the front of my hairline, and it is pissing. me. off. SO. MUCH.

Behold my mad MS Paint skillz!
But MS Paint cannot cure the chunky highlight blues.

It's Not the Front Row Anymore When They Put Chairs in the Orchestra Pit

When I got my new job, I rewarded myself with the best available tickets to see Bryan Adams in concert. This sounds reasonable, right? They were front row, and they weren't cheap. And yet somehow? I didn't care.

Here is how I justified the purchase:

1. I have been listening to Bryan Adams since I was eleven.
2. The concert was billed as "A Night with Bryan Adams," and this meant just him and his guitar.
3. He sings Heaven, the song that Mike and I will share a dance to at an event in the future.

Kari happily accompanied me, as Mike had unbreakable plans, and we had a blast. He was absolutely amazing. Without a band, there was more time for music. He told stories, made some jokes, but mostly played songs.

Being the perennial dork that I am, I made sure to keep track of the set list. The man played twenty-eight songs. So many songs! Granted, I have no idea how many songs are usually played in most concerts, as I haven't geeked out to this extent before, but still. His pianist accompanied him on a good number of hits, which was delightful and fitting, especially for such favorites as "Everything I Do, I Do It For You." Lovely!

And in response to questions I've gotten, including, "He's still alive?" and "Did he sound like an octogenarian?" I am pleased to report that even after singing twenty-eight songs, there was not a hint of rasp in his voice. He didn't seem tired at all!

OMG there he is!
We weren't supposed to take pictures, but I did ANYWAY.
Just the one. Without the flash.
Which is why it came out so amazingly well.

Also, he's still pretty good looking. At one point, a guy in the crowd yelled out, "Bryan, my wife wants to know if you're single!" Giggle! Bryan also called out this trashy chick behind me who was recording the whole performance on her camera, which was highly entertaining.

I really can't think of many other artists I would shell out hard-earned cash for, especially since I've already seen some of my favorites (Joshua Radin, Pete Yorn, Ben Folds). I'm so glad that I bit the bullet and got the tickets. It was a night to remember. WHICH IS ALSO THE TITLE OF ONE OF HIS SONGS, OH MY GOD.

New Moon. Durrrrr.

Against my better judgement, I saw New Moon. I was afraid that seeing the film would catapult me back to the insanity of last year when I read the damn books over and over again and watched the movie several times a day - much to Mike's chagrin. Remember? I didn't clean my apartment? It was ridiculous and insane? Mike and K-10 wanted to stage an intervention?

Well, I shouldn't have worried so much. It was definitely a better movie than Twilight, and much closer to the book as well. The acting improved immensely, and the wolf-like effects were infinitely better than I expected.

But I think that the moment has passed on my reaction to Twilight-mania, thank the baby Jesus.

If you don't know the story, there isn't much to tell. It's the classic tale of forbidden monster love! Edward, he of the sparkly skin and impossibly fast vampire reflexes, leaves Bella, the clumsiest brunette this side of the Mississippi, even though he's still head over glittery heels in love with her. He's afraid that he'll always put her in danger, you see. Considering the fact that her blood is like crack to him and he is constantly stuck between loving her and snarfing her, I feel like this is a pretty intelligent decision.

But she is a lovesick teenager, and woe is her. So she drops into a deep depression, a state of which I'm sure we all remember since we've all gone through puberty and decided that no one has ever felt the pain that we felt at being dumped at fourteen after nineteen days of dating. We were in LOVE, DAMMIT. It was so EPIC and TRUE. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS!

But lo! The son of her father's friend is quite happy to pick her up off the ground of despair, and while she loves that he's a great friend, Jacob basically just loves her. Ruh roh! Bella is hung up on Edward, and always will be, because as a teenager, the world ends with a breakup! But she has realized that she'll see visions of him if she does reckless things like getting on the back of a motorcycle with a leather-clad rapist, or riding her own motorcycle until it crashes into a stump. Or, like most completely sane people do in Oregon in January, cliff diving. Obviously.

BUT OH NOES, THERE IS A PROBLEM.

Edward finds out that Bella has jumped off a fucking cliff, and thinks that she is dead. So he wants to die because he can't live in a world where she doesn't exist (well, maybe you shouldn't have dumped her clumsy ass, BUTTMUNCH), but he keeps running into such problematic issues like: it's almost impossible to kill a vampire. Well, that's actually pretty much the only issue. But there are vampiric leaders in Italy who lay down the law. They can kill him! Hooray!

Then Bella somehow gets to Italy in a few short hours (Did she take the Concorde? Does she even have a passport? What happened to even minimal amounts of parental supervision? GOD.) and thwarts his attempt at death by sparkling.

It's all fairly ridiculous, I admit, especially seeing the plot laid out there in the open like this, but it was pretty effective both in the book and in the film.

I KNOW.

The soundtrack has been getting praise, but after buying each song legally (um, sure!), I discovered that there were very few tracks that I liked. I view this as a downgrade from the first soundtrack, as it really captured the feel of the film (and book). Plus, it featured lead vampire himself, Robert Pattinson, crooning away all emo-like.

For New Moon, it seems like the powers that be chased after every musical hipster in tight black jeans in order to build some kind of "credibility" for their "masterpiece" of a CD. Garden State soundtrack this is not, but there are a few standouts: Radiohead's Thom Yorke supplied a song, and it was excellent, and Death Cab for Cutie's entry was solid. There were a few others that piqued my curiosity (The Editors are always worthy of a listen), but most entries were just wispy and forgettable.

The film works, mostly because it occupies one of the middle bits of a multi-film franchise. It is a space holder, designed to move the plot forward, but is really just a prelude to what fans really want: the headboard-breaking, pillow-biting, scrambled eggs gorging honeymoon of Breaking Dawn.

You know I'm right.

My Subconscious Is Stranger Than I Thought

Last night, I could not get "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria" out of my head. I have no idea where it came from, as I haven't seen The Sound of Music in months, but there it was. Stuck in my head, annoying the crap out of me especially because I can't remember all of the verses, but can totally rock the part where the Reverend Mother has her solo bit at the end of the song. She was badass.

And then this morning, I woke up with "To Be With You" by Mr. Big.

Oh my GOSH, look at their hair! And LEGGINGS.
YOU'RE WELCOME.

Burrito Time

You guys, there's a green burrito on the floor!

I love my honey.
He's silly and cute, and makes me laugh my ass off on a daily basis.

(Psst... this is my one thousandth post! I can't believe it!)

Christmasy Tree!

So since I've been spending more and more of my time at Mike's, I asked if he would mind if I put up my Christmas tree at his place. After I listened to him talk at me about how Jesus was actually born sometime in June or July, and how the church used a pagan holiday to fill out their liturgical calendar, blah blah bl... zzzzzzz, he gave in. I mean, my laser eyes may have been boring through his skull, and that's probably why he gave in, but I don't care at this point!

I love putting up the tree, but I really don't enjoy fanning out the branches of my $12 Walmart tree that I've had since my years in DC. Fanning the branches? That's the worst. And yet, it doesn't anger me all that much, because I am still putting up the tree, and putting up the tree is awesome! Example:

You guys, I love my Christmas tree! Even when I have to fan out the branches! Which totally sucks! Also, I look to be about three feet tall here!

Mike did a really good job of staying out of my way and not caring. Besides, he doesn't love Christmas like I do, and I didn't want him to bring me down!

Finished product. Pretty!

Underwire... Be GONE!

Guess what? I GOT A NEW BRA.

I got a new bra, and it's amazing. It's a no-underwire slice of awesomeness and I love it. It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.

This is what it looks like on:

Nope! Like I was going to post a picture of me in my bra. As Gob would say, "Come on!" I mean, this is not a very wholesome blog, as evidenced by the very scientific quiz I took some time ago, but still. I have to draw the line somewhere, people. No boobs for you.

Anyway, I don't miss the underwire. Everything still looks nice and perky, and I don't have pain at the end of the day. In fact, I really, truly forget that I have it on. I have a feeling that it might not be the answer for more buxom types, but it's pretty damn sweet.

Morning Light

I catch the bus at 7:06 in the morning, and at this point in the year, the sun has yet to rise. It only takes a few minutes to get to the transit center, and instead of catching another bus, I usually walk to work. Sometimes I stop for coffee on the way.

Ann Arbor is a cute little city with a great downtown area, not too far from campus. There are a ton of great independent shops and eateries, and there are fun twinkly lights all over the place.

Every morning, I pass this building, and I always love seeing the colors of the elevators on each floor. I don't know why, but I find it really striking and artsy, especially when it's still dark.

It would probably save me a few minutes to walk up the next street to the south, but all I get to pass is an Indian restaurant and a few apartment buildings. This is way more exciting.

Am I playing it fast and loose with the word "exciting?" Nevermind. I don't care!

Letters of Note

I've discovered an fantastically awesome website: Letters of Note.

The blog's author posts scans of letters, faxes, notes, and memos from the desks of famous people, and transcribes them as so readers don't have to strain their eyes with old typescript.

There are letters from Presidents, from musicians (David Bowie!), and from celebrities. They are funny, interesting, and some are deeply moving.

One of my favorites is correspondence between a woman who fears her five sons perished on the USS Juneau in 1942, and President Roosevelt. This incident is what prompted the creation of the Sole Survivor Policy.

Reading these documents brings me back to the days of college and graduate school, researching in libraries and archives for primary documents. I got to leaf through pages of documents in the Library of Congress, and for a history nerd like me, that was pretty sweet.

It's a really neat site - enjoy!

Mr. Instant Gratification

For weeks and weeks, I was on a Supernatural kick. I flew through those discs as fast as Netflix could ship them to me. I tried and tried (and tried) to get Mike to watch them, but after he sat through many of my suggested movies and television shows and enjoyed very few, he was reluctant to watch anything I put in front of him.

But there was a long weekend where I watched DAYS of sports with him. Football, basketball, golf, tennis, even poker. Once he witnessed my commitment to televised sporting events, he finally gave in.

I had only the first disc of season one at hand. I didn't want to waste three discs on something that I had already seen in case he did not turn out to be a fan.

After the first episode, he was intrigued. After the third episode, he asked how many discs I had. After the fourth and final episode on the disc, we went to Target to buy the first season. He reminded me of something that I know all too well - he's Mr. Instant Gratification. I know this because it is close to impossible to shop for him. If he wants or needs something, he gets it. This makes life super fun for me come Christmas and his birthday.

Once in a while, he'll mention that he'd like a certain something. I pay attention, make a mental note, and hope upon hope that he doesn't buy it for himself. I've succeeded in making sure that he forgets about said items by never bringing them up.

His iPod earbuds broke recently, and to make sure that he wouldn't buy a new pair, I gave him mine until I could replace his. I called it an early Christmas present, because I knew that there was no way he'd wait a month, and the spare earbuds I had at home were pretty shitty.

Luckily, I think that I've done pretty well this Christmas. He thinks that he knows what his gifts are, but I think that I should be able to surprise him with at least one.

I mean, here's hoping.

PUPPY SITTING

Oh my God you guys, look at me!

My name is Tucker, and I am adooooooorable!

This is my lamby.
I love to bite him and rip at his ears.

I like Heather, but I like Mike more.
He is better at playing.
Also, he's better at getting up before dawn to take me outside.
Heather does not seem to enjoy the early morning time.

I pretty much go ballistic when I see someone.
It doesn't matter if they've been out of the room
for seven seconds or seven hours.
I just want to kiss them all over!

I looooooove Mike.

I got up on the couch all by myself!
Most of time, anyway.

OMG, though you guys. Heather takes a fuckton of pictures.

I really did not enjoy it when Mike would hide his face from me.
I made it my mission to help him find his face.

You know what I do enjoy? Sleeping.
I really love to sleep.

I like to sleep wherever and however I decide.

I really liked sleeping at Mike's feet.

This, well... I was drunk.
It happens.

I slept in Heather's lap, too.
SERIOUSLY, HOW CUTE AM I?

I had a wonderful time with Mike and Heather. I hope they had fun, too!