I have to admit, I think that I am pretty hot shit when it comes to knowing about upcoming films and whatnot, so I am completely embarrassed to report that this one completely slipped me by.
Gore Verbinski, director of the Pirates of the Carribbean franchise (the first was fun and entertaining, the second suh-HUCKED and I explained why in my review, and I certainly didn't feel like wasting my time on the third. I've since heard that this was a good decision).
I mean, I'm sure that he's a fine director, but... but...
It's been announced that he's on board to direct a remake of Clue.
I will let that one sit and marinate for a while.
CLUE. With an absolutely brilliant cast, a hilarious script, and a huge cult following, it is to be remade into a "...global thriller and transmedia event that uses deductive reasoning as its storytelling engine."
SHUT UP. SHUT UUUUUUUPPP!
You know, I was pissed off about the Charade remake, annoyed with the idea of a Neverending Story remake, and pissed off again about the remake of The Women (have you seen the original? It's FANTASTIC).
But now? The flames... flames on the side of my face... I am MAD. From other articles I've read about this travesty, it sounds like they're taking the whodunit idea from the original movie (and board game, I suppose), and pretty much leaving everything else in the plot. It probably won't be a comedy.
So WHY use the original title?
If that's not the case, then Verbinski has many issues to realize including, how is a singing telegram girl going to show up at locales all over the world to sing and tap dance? This is just one problem. And as there is no way possible to replace the brilliant Madeline Kahn, I suggest that they cut the role of Mrs. White altogether. It's the only thing that makes sense.
CUT IT OUT HOLLYWOOD. CUT IT OUT IMMEDIATELY.