Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Katrina

This is much more eloquent that anything I could try to write.

Green Day Awesomeness

Wow.

Went to the Green Day concert last night on the
OnTap drunk bus. It was at Merriweather Post Pavilion, and we got there so late that we completely missed Jimmy Eat World. I was bummed about that for maybe five minutes... but then Green Day came on stage and rocked out.

I've been to some pretty sweet concerts in my young life - U2, Counting Crows, Weezer (twice!), Snow Patrol, The Killers, and pretty much any country music band/singer you can think of thanks to an ex and the white trashiest event in the history of the world called
Country Concert. Green Day was easily one of the best I've ever experienced. They played almost every song from American Idiot and a ton from Dookie (including She, my favorite).

Every time they would start a new song I would shake Laurel and jump up and down - you know, to make sure she was paying attention.

The best part of the night was when Billie Joe announced that they were going to form a new band on stage and started asking people in the audience if anyone had experience playing drums, bass, and guitar. He then hand-picked three people to come up on stage and play. The drummer was this college guy wearing his frat letters. (And he wasn't too obnoxious, go figure!) The bass player was young, but he could play. Then Billie Joe picked a 13-year-old kid out of the crowd to play guitar. We were all holding our breath as he showed him the chords to play. The kid put on Billie Joe's guitar, took the pick and a deep breath, and played the chords perfectly! Everyone went nuts! The kids played as Green Day jumped around the stage singing.

Then Billie Joe gave his guitar to the kid. It was so awesome. I totally cried. Shut up.


Something strange though - during the ballads, instead of lighters, people now hold up their cell phones. It was a little eerie...

Didn't get home until past 1 a.m. Totally worth it.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Birthday Party Pics - 8.20.05

Gen, Amanda, John


Waayers, Me, Amanda


Waayers, Gabester, Rhett, Maskulinski


Laurel, Me, and CAKE!


Tucker, his gf (I can't remember her name, I'm sorry!), Shane, Me


I remember very few of these pictures being taken. On account of the drinkees. So many drinkees. I do remember the cake, though. Thanks, Laurel, that was volcanic!

(And if anyone remember's Tucker's gf's name, please let me know so I can fix it! -- In my defense, it was the first time any of us met her, so... nevermind that's just an excuse)

The VIBE Gets Around. Whore.

My plans to visit Great Falls this weekend in the VIBE were thwarted by the evil rainy weather. Stupid weatherpeople! They said no rain this weekend. NO RAIN. They are all LYING LIARS. But I got to do a bunch of other neat things!

Woke up at 7 in the a.m. on Saturday to go to Great Falls. Pouring down rain. Fantastic. So I had some Rice Krispies instead. Because THAT'S the same. When is the last time that you had Rice freaking Krispies, though? For me, it's been years since I had some snappy, cracky, poppily goodness. But that's mostly because I never buy milk. But I had some milk! AND, I had some apple juice. Man, I love apple juice. Especially in the morning. People who'd rather have orange juice with breakfast are weirdos.

Then I made the mistake of going to Tyson's Corner Mall. Right, so we've established that Virginians cannot drive. So because it was semi-sprinkling, it took me about an hour longer to get there than normal.

So I walk in with two bags. Both are shirts that need to be returned, because I am a stupid moron who never tries on clothes at the mall because I see it as a hassle. More of a hassle than going back and returning/exchanging said items of clothing, you ask? Well, there are a few stores where I am fairly confident of my size. Like The Limited. LOVE. But this XS shirt was a little big. And the XS shirt I got at NY & Company was a little small. Right, anyway, Limited there is closed for a month for renovations or something. Meh. At least I got one thing done. Wish I had remembered to get a smoothie or something...

Then I headed back to The Hill, but not before stopping at my favorite Thai place in Arlington to pick up a late lunch/early dinner. Fab. Also fab? How I still have their number in my phone.

Went to Old Town with Amanda and Waayers. Ended up at Murphy's, of course. The singers were, well... awful. How you can screw up both Irish classic songs and fun bar songs like Piano Man and Country Roads, I don't know. So we drank to numb the pain. Well, Amanda drank. I was driving.

Today, the VIBE was due back at 1 p.m. It was sad, really. It was the epitome of freedom - to me, anyway. It was a spectacularly stupid looking car, though! But it was a car, and it was MINE for the weekend.

And now I miss the 'Scort. :(

Friday, August 26, 2005

Good Vibes

I have a Pontiac Vibe for the weekend. A what? A VIBE. What on EARTH would possess the good folks at Pontiac to name a car THAT?


It's cute, it's small, and it zips around like a hummingbird on crack. All I really ask for in my cars, really. Mine's red - just like this one.

I feel like a badass, having a car again. Well, as much of a badass as I can be in a VIBE. I really miss being able to go to a grocery store in which I can actually afford the merchandise. Because really, Martin's Market here on Capitol Hill hikes up the prices like we're being rationed. $2.50 for a two-liter of Coca Cola? Sure, that sounds reasonable! Let me go grab my giant sack of GOLD. One minute...




So I've been to Safeway, Trader Joe's, and Old Navy. I didn't get much - I went because I COULD. Although, every time I go to Old Navy, that place looks more and more like an overflowing Salvation Army warehouse. Can we get SOMEONE to fold the freakin' shirts? Anyone? Is it just that customers are so appalled by the choices of capri pants and "ironic" t-shirts that they THROW the clothes on the floor in disgust? I don't know. It's just a mess. All the time.


I'm supposed to go to a party tonight, and as it's in Falls Church, I didn't think that I was going to be able to make it. But now, thanks to the VIBE, I think I might. I also might get me some of that lovely food from Crystal Thai in Arlington. Or maybe save that for tomorrow.


OH! What about Jimmy John's? I should get that sometime, too! So much to do, so little time with the VIBE.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Launderiffic!

Today marked the start of my looooong weekend. How did I spend my day?

Woke up at 11:30 a.m. Washed face. Contacts. Mmmm, sight!

11:45 Walked to the mailbox to mail RSVP to Greg's wedding and Netflix DVD. 80 degrees! Only 35% humidity! Lovely!

11:55 Listened to The Killers CD.

12:07 Shun shower to do laundry.

12:08 Laundry, laundry, and more laundry. Launderiffic! When you cannot remember the last time you washed your sheets, it's probably about time.

1:13 Listened to Bob Dylan: Greatest Hits CD.

2:30 Spaghetti for lunch. No, it's not weird. Besides, it was homemade sauce. Mom's recipe. Comfort food goodness. Mmmmmm...

3:22 Reveled in lovely clean-laundry smell in bedroom after washing sheets, pillowcases, and duvet cover.

3:24 Created photoblog.

4:15 Still haven't showered. Yum!

5:00 Listened to Josh Kelley CD.

6:00 How am I not done doing laundry yet?

6:18 Listened to Coldplay CD - A Rush of Blood to the Head. Oooh, I need to get their new one...

6:49 Put in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

8:30 Made pizza rolls. Laundry still in dryer. Think I'll wash the bathmats.

9:29 Still watching HP3. Why am I such a nerd?

9:48 Shower!

10:56 Watched Indian Summer.

I suppose I'll go to sleep eventually. It was a nice, lazy day. Very much needed. Well done!

(Damn, this post was booooooooring.)

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Sick Leave? Sure, If That's What You Want to Call It

I have to use up my sick leave before the new job starts (11 days - but who's counting?) because the conversion to being a true federal employee allows for me to keep my annual leave - in the form of a nice, fat check - but not sick leave. Bastards.

After being sick so many times in the past few months, I only had 24.5 hours left. But, after some fast math in my head (divide by eight, uhhhhhhh), that's three days! Three whole lovely, sunny, tasty days. Determined not to forfeit hours that I had earned by working very, very diligently (hahaha! RIGHT.), I approached my supervisor tentatively:

Heather: After speaking with HR, I discovered that my unused annual leave will be converted, but I am going to lose my sick leave. I earned that leave, and I don't want the government to steal it. I gave three weeks notice, instead of the one week recommended by HR, so can I try and use it up?

Supervisor: Sure.


Heather: Uh, neat. Thanks!


And now I have tomorrow and Friday off, and my last day will now be September 1 instead of the 2nd. Fantastic!
___________________________________________________

In other news, I have discovered the perfect kind of underwear. Not bikini, not a full-on thong. Nope - somewhere in between coupled with lacy goodness. I'm not even sure if they have a name, but they are pretty damn sweet. I mean, pretty damn Swayze.
___________________________________________________

As I have tomorrow off, I finally got around to watching Casablanca. For the first time.

I KNOW.

As a World War II historian, I am kind of amazed that it took me this long to see it. Maybe I thought that I would have had to watch it for one of the many classes I took at UM (or GWU, for that matter). Yeah, if everyone else hadn't already seen it!

And so, I can finally give an informed review: LOVED IT! (oh, In Living Color flashback...). I can see why this film is consistently ranked in the top ten movies of all time - the acting alone was flawless. Sentimental, yes, but it captures the "Vichy" mentality prevalent in Casablanca at the time. One thing that I found interesting - that I would have missed had I not read an article about it - was the French girl who started dating a German soldier. French soldier gets pissed, etc. Women like her were treated like criminals once the war was over - many had their heads forcibly shaved. Right -- you didn't need to know that, but I felt like my entire expensive education was justified just because I picked up on that one minute scene.

I did quite enjoy hearing some of the most famous lines in cinema. I'll spare you.

But we'll always have Paris.

Sorry.
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The National Zoo is allowing the public to choose the name of the panda cub. We all know that it should be named "Butterstick," yet it is not one of the choices. Here's a link to a site that somehow bypasses the zoo's voting form and *might* give Butterstick a chance. (Is "hacking" the correct word anymore?)

The adorable Butterstick.
(image courtesy of the Smithsonian National Zoo)


Tuesday, August 23, 2005

That's So Swayze

Right. So my friend really likes Patrick Swayze. I don't know. I don't know why! And he (yes, HE - didn't see that one coming, did ya?) uses the name as a freaking adjective.

"How was the movie?"
"Oh, it was so Swayze."

"What did you make for dinner?"
"I made some Swayze chicken and some zesty Swayze pasta."

I AM NOT KIDDING.

OH, it gets better.

He has a Patrick Swayze poster over his living room couch. Not some artsy framed poster. Nope. It's from a magazine. Which? TEEN BEAT. Did he do a search on eBay for "Patrick Swayze 1986?" Because I can't imagine that there are many teeny bopper magazines including posters of Patrick Fucking Swayze in 2005.

Patrick Swayze. I swear...

The poster in question:


Just kidding, the one above his couch is a headshot. But still, this one made me snort apple juice out my nose. I mean, because seriously, guys? It's so Swayze.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Great Dane

Okay, so if you haven't heard of Dane Cook, get ready. He's out-of-control hilarious and I LOVE HIM.




I remember my first time with Dane. It was a magical night. December 31, 2000. I was at this massive house party in Ann Arbor, everyone was dressed to the nines, it was 11:30 p.m., and we were all massively drunk and waiting for the GD ball to drop. Impatience. So someone pops in a VHS. Dane's Comedy Central Special. I thought that maybe it was the alcohol that made me laugh that hard. I mean, I had just giggled like an idiot when I heard someone fell into the toilet at the party... When I caught him on CC a few days later, I realized it wasn't liquor. He's just THAT funny.


If you haven't seen this, you NEED to get to your favorite Best Buy, Circuit City, or back alley crack dealer and get his first CD, Harmful if Swallowed. It's a CD/DVD combo, and the CC special is included - UNEDITED. Bonus! You will not be disappointed. That is, unless you are a humorless automaton. In which case, bummer. You can just "SUCK MY BACK!" Hehe. You'll see. Oh, you'll see.


While you're there, I strongly recommend picking up his newest CD/DVD combo: Retaliation. It's scrumtrulescent. Tonks and I listened to it in all its glory while driving to Howell, MI. Almost had to pull over as she swerved to miss hitting another car. All from laughing too hard.


I mean, just LOOK at him. He makes me want to laugh!

"Don't you wish you were a snake? Yeah, you do!"

"Pick a number please, pick a number. Four? One, two, three, four. Pick a color please, pick a color. Purple? P-U-R-P-L-E... Heh heh heh... You are a faggot!"

"Naughty, naughty Kool-Aid. Yeah, coming through the wall is real cool - using the front door is cool! Don't touch me, you drink! I will kick you in the tights and you will go over, you're very top-heavy."

Ahhhhh... just get his CDs! Now!

Friday, August 19, 2005

Thank You!


I had such a wonderful birthday! Thanks to Amanda, Betsy, Laurel, Merrick, and Waayers for a super fun day. Chris, the guest bartender at Ella's, was fantastic, too! The amazing sangria, the awesome free shots (three different ones - hey girls, anyone remember what they were?), the fab-u-lous companions... I rang in the big two-five in style.

I think that the funniest part of the night was when I was trying to give Merrick directions to the bar. "Merrick, it's on 9th between F and G... No, F... Right, F and G... No! It's on 9th, niner, between F as in FART and G as in GIANT. FART GIANT! GIANT FART! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Wow, was I drunk.

Coming to the cocktail party on Saturday? The more the merrier, you know...

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Ah, The Quarter Century Mark

Yep, I'm 25 today. And I think that it warrants a very fitting quote from one of my favorite movies, Sixteen Candles:

"I thought that turning 16 would be so major that I'd wake up with an improved mental state that would show on my face. All it shows is that I don't have any sort of tan left."



Now, I'm not 16 anymore, I'd like to believe that my mental state has improved, and I do have a tan still. But it's funny.

More hilarity? When I was in MI last weekend and at the mall with the Lady, a salesgirl asked if we were back-to-school shopping. After staring at her for about ten seconds, I responded, "Nope, I'm 25." She looked embarrassed. Granted, we were in The Buckle, so it was an honest mistake. Then we went to
Olga's (so good) for lunch, and the hostess gave me the CHILDREN'S MENU. Ha ha hardy har har. Ha. Hehehe. Heh. Oh.

Another thing that's funny? I'm the front desk monkey here for a mere 11 more work days before moving on to bigger and better things, so I've decided to not let this get to me. My coworker wrote, "Happy Birthday, Heather!" on the check-in board this morning. That was very nice of her. The board is at my desk. Everyone moves their little magnet from "out" to "in" when they arrive, and they can obviously see what she wrote. It's right there. Has one person here wished me a Happy Birthday? NO. Except for Chuck. He did. We like Chuck. Chuck Chuck bo buck, bananafana fo... Wow.

Now, I'm not some attention whore (HAHAHA! Yes, I am - especially on my freaking birthday. But that's not the point).



I would now like to let you all in on a little secret: everyone I work with is stupid (except Chuck, of course). That's right, STUPID. Especially little Mr. Suck Up in his khakis and polos. (That reminds me of, "Especially Bart. But especially Lisa.") Every day with the same little uniform. Gah! I cannot stand him and his girly voice! But it will all be over soon. 11 days, just 11 days...

So I'm leaving at exactly 5 p.m. and meeting my girls at
Ella's for sangria and pizza. I'm sure that Mike the Awesome Bartender will hook us up. I should probably not get too smashed, as I have to drag my ass in here tomorrow. Though with the new job, I'm losing my earned sick leave and as I refuse to give the government ANYTHING that I've honestly earned, maybe I should just sleep in tomorrow... You know, just for a few hours.

I do wish I had a Jake Ryan though.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Tag! I'm It.

I was tagged by Lynne. So here we go - hope I don't come off too lame...

"List ten songs that you are currently digging... it doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're no good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the ten songs in your blog. Then tag five other people to see what they're listening to."

1. Strawberry Fields Forever by Ben Harper. This song is on the I Am Sam soundtrack - all Beatles songs redone by contemporary artists (Ben Folds, Howie Day, Grandaddy, Sheryl Crow, etc.), and it's quite good. I just love his version of this song.

2. Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson. I didn't watch American Idol that season. I haven't watched any of the seasons, to be honest. I just don't care! Everyone on there is completely irritating. But this song rocks! The video is pretty sweet, too. I do hate the "U" instead of "You," but whatcha gonna do? You can't ask too much of these people.

3. Hallelujah by John Cale. On the Scrubs soundtrack. It's lovely and haunting. In a good way. And I keep hitting repeat.

4. Such Great Heights by The Postal Service. Such a fantastic song - a great beat and heartwarming lyrics. Check out a slow version of the same song by Iron and Wine. In fact, check out the entire Garden State soundtrack (I'm all about the soundtracks today).

5. Gracie by Ben Folds. I love Ben Folds. He always has beautiful lyrics and he is dynamite on the piano. This song is about his daughter and it makes me cry every time. It's wonderful.

6. Waltz #2 (XO) by Elliott Smith. It's a shame that he is no longer with us - his writing improved with each album.

7. Barrel of a Gun by Guster. This song is apparently about masturbation. So I've heard.

8. Run by Snow Patrol. I love so many of the British bands to invade America this past year (or are they Irish? Um, Scottish? Not sure on this one. I know that they started up in Scotland...). Right. So this song is sweet. LISTEN TO IT.

9. Half Light by Athlete. Another British band. Totally obsessed with this song. It's gold, Jerry! Gold!

10. Mr. Brightside by The Killers. Saw them live with Keane this summer. They were both flippin' awesome. I kinda liked it when I was the only one who knew who they were, but share the wealth, I guess.

Alright, I'll tag Gabe, Deals, K-10, Waayers, Amanda, and Laurel. Gabe and Deals are the only ones with blogs, so everyone else will just have to respond in the comments. Alright, GO!

I Can't Believe I Forgot About This! The Gate, The Pier, The Long Weekend - Part II

So whilst in MI for the weekend, we went to the bar. A semi-trashy place called Pier 500. Sure, it's trashy, but we always have a blast.

Tonks is "sort of" dating one of the bouncers, and he informed us that there was going to be a "show" that night. Now, we had seen the bachelorette party earlier in the night (seriously, how sad is it that someone chose THAT place for their bachelorette party? Ew), but just smiled and clapped for them. What kind of show?

"LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, PLEASE CLEAR THE DANCE FLOOR. CAN WE BRING OUR BACHELORETTE ON STAGE?"

She timidly walks out, wearing her little veil and tiara, with a garter over her jeans.

A tape starts, and a cop walked out onto the dance floor.

Well, a guy dressed as a cop walked out.

I'm not going to pretend that I remember what he was lip-syncing, but it was corny and stupid and all these middle-aged women were screaming so loudly in anticipation of what was to come that it was difficult to pay attention anyway.

Right, so he was a stripper. Dressed as a cop. It was pretty much the most disgusting thing that I have seen in all of my (almost) 25 years. He had all kinds of piercings and was obviously trying to look like a porn star. Well, sans the mullet. He was wearing these girly boots. He stripped down to his little thong. He made her rub him with oil. He stood on her chair and shook his dangly bits in her face. I think that's when I threw up in my mouth a little bit. At one point, he PUT HIS HEAD UP HER SHIRT AND SHOOK IT BETWEEN HER BOOBS.

Um, WHAT?

So this is what happens with a stripper at a bachelorette party in the middle of a crowded bar. What happens in the privacy of one's home? What happens at a BACHELOR party for that matter? I. Don't. Want. To. Know.

I told EmFace and Tonks later that if they were hell-bent on getting me a stripper for my bachelorette party, I'd rather a female. At least they're nicer to look at. Just don't make the boobs too large, please. Those scare me.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

The Gate, The Pier, The Long Weekend

Friday, August 12, 2005. 4 p.m.
Reagan National Airport, terminal A.

Gate 5.


I'm sitting on the ledge by the window because of the asshats who use three seats in the waiting area - one for their ginormous arses, one for their recently purchased fattening meals, and one for their carry-on bags, newspapers, and US Weeklys. The air vents are freezing my calves. I'm trying to finish the crossword, but I keep getting distracted by the Northwest employee
SCREAMING into the PA system, "FIRST CLASS ONLY! FIRST CLASS ONLY! PREBOARDING! FIRST CLASS ONLY" over and over and over again. As if we need to be reminded that we are lowly peons who can't afford to purchase first class tickets for a ONE HOUR FLIGHT. Why would you waste your money on a first class ticket for a hop, skip, and a jump - no scratch that, just a hop and a skip - to Detroit? It's not like you get food, and I hardly think that a few free watered-down drinks makes up for it. Because guess what? You might have a vodka tonic in your hand, but it'll never be stiff enough to block out the cacophony of babies screeching a few rows back behind the curtain. You haven't escaped, you've bought yourself some extremely overpriced drinks. Rather, your company bought them. So when I pass, don't give me that look, that wow-I-feel-so-sorry-for-her look -- I like coach.

Anyway, everyone is looking at each other like, "Is this chick for real?" She did not seem to understand that if she turned off the microphone mid-screech, people at freaking DULLES could have heard her. Shut UP.


Right, so back to Michigan I went - back to The Gate. It was nice to escape the situation that's simmering in my apartment, at least for a few days (anyone looking to live in a shoebox-sized room with no closet? Just let me know...). Did lots of fun stuff, saw my beautiful baby niece, partied, shopped, and got NO sleep. Totally worth it.




So Tonks gets a good-sized group to go to Pier 500 in Wyandirt. Again. But this time, EmFace and Adam came along. Haven't partied with them since... well, their wedding, I think. In 2003. Yikes. It was a blast - and Tonks was very entertaining. Adam kept matching her shot for shot, and before we realized it, she was toast. She proceeded to make friends with almost every group of people on the pier, knocked someone off of their stool at the bar, yelled at some guy for not telling her that he was married, and flirted with everyone in sight. She grabbed my boob a few times, too - so it was nice to get some.

The best part of the night was our 3 a.m. meal at the trashy Coney Island. She repeatedly ordered a veggie omelet from anyone who walked by - our server, other servers, the busboy, other customers, and each of us at the table. She very loudly announced that she had fucked all of the men in the restaurant (obviously not true. I think...), causing all of us to hide underneath the table, bursting with giggles. While driving her inebriated ass to Canton at 4 a.m., she alternated between screaming along with
WJLB Detroit radio and passing out. It was just amazing.

Celebrated my birthday with the fam on Monday (hells yes! for the bumpy cake), met Tonks and Pavel at the bar for a bit. Got five hours of sleep before the 7 a.m. flight (that's four more than last time, for those of you counting). And just like last time, the flight was delayed an hour because of "mechanical difficulties." Unlike last time, however, we were already on the plane when they discovered there was a problem. That makes you feel so safe and secure -- listening to the repairs being made underneath you. Northworst is really starting to grate on my nerves, and I'm just so glad that I have two more flights in the near future with them.
Straight to work from the plane. Tired as hell. It's apparently getting around that I got the new job, and people are very excited for me. So that's coolio.

Anyhoo, sleep is calling. Begging, really.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Penguins!


March of the Penguins was wonderful! You should see it!

"Sure!" you think. "Heather said it was good, so I should see it!" Fine. I know I'm just rewording what most of the reviewers have said, but the images are powerful, the cinematography is superb, and the narration is fabulous (Morgan Freeman). It's a story about love, more than anything, and I loved it. As you're watching, take a moment to think about the filmmakers. Where the hell were they sleeping, anyway?


Ladies, you might cry. It's sweet, it's sad, it's funny, it's heartwarming. Yeah, you'll definitely cry.

Guys, it's a perfect date movie - that girl will just MELT into your arms. Play your cards right, like a carefully planned single tear, and it's 'Welcome to Pantyville, population: you.'

Support the arts! See it at an indie theater, if at all possible. I recommend the E Street theater - make sure to remember your old student ID, because there's a good discount.

Enjoy!

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

"You people are crazy..."

Oh, poor K-10 - she really needs a new job. This story is flippin' hilarious, though:

It was incredible. Julia, Mike and I were all here this morning, and Amarjit bursts through the door about 9:15. He's this really quirky guy. His hair sheds and it's gross. The first thing I notice is that he is wearing the EXACT same clothes as yesterday - shirt, jacket, khakis, shoes. EVERYTHING.

Anyhoo, Mike and Julia are talking about some analysis that they need him to do, but they are just talking amongst themselves. He gets out his computer and starts huffing and puffing (he makes weird noises ALL DAY). So, then I start in on their conversation about how Denise in the US wants me to do start the system training as well, and we've got the big project work to do. We need to figure out a schedule. Everything is very casual - these people are NOT uptight at all. He freaks out at this point (tantrum #1 - very mild) and says, 'I have so much to do and I know how to do it and this is just ridiculous.'

We're like - CHILL. So, I send an email to Helen saying that we need to talk about schedules. Amarjit was planning to work from home a few days a week because he has a two hour journey (not our fault) and is 'frustrated' by the time he gets to work. Deal. Uh, no. You canNOT work from home yet, especially when you have NO idea what you are doing and have not been trained. So, Helen decides to come in to discuss things in the afternoon tomorrow, and now he is pissed because he has to come in and wanted to be at home.

In my email to her I also told her how he tells me what he does and does not want to be trained on and when he wants to do it. I also told her about how he wants to take vacation during a heavy project schedule in 3 weeks time (don't get me started on it). Not to mention the fact that I am training someone making 3x more money than me.

Our office is pretty quiet. It's very small - two main areas with 3 desks at each. I could spit from one wall to the other. We talk once in awhile, but not all the time.

Around 11:45, it hits. Now, we're all working to get him documentation, I'm trying to do his training and 4 other projects at the same time. No one is talking, we're all busy. 11:50. Mike and Julia ask me to PDF something because I'm the only one who has writer. So, Rowan's doing his own thing, and Julia, Mike and I are corresponding about the PDF. Nothing urgent, just trying it out. 11:52 - Amarjit busts into the convo (while I'm talking) and says, 'Did you get my analysis?'

We think it's directed at Mike/Julia, but we're never sure because he never addresses the speaker. Mike says, 'Thanks we got it a few minutes ago, and Julia is going to look at it in due course. We have a meeting this afternoon, and we have a proposal to pdf now for a meeting tomorrow.' We keep working. He interrupts AGAIN - very loudly this time - 'IF YOU NEED TO SPEAK TO ME ABOUT IT WE NEED TO SCHEDULE SOMETHING.' Mike, again, politely says, 'Thanks, Amarjit. We will get to it and discuss it soon.'

Then all hell broke loose.

"There is an atmosphere in here. I'm the new boy and no one is taking my side. I'm trying to remember what she told me (motioning at me), and what Julia says and what I learned in the US. You all have an attitude and there is an atmosphere. I am going to explode."

We're literally shocked. Mike says, "I think you're misinterpreting things. We're just trying to work on the proposal right now. We will get to your work very soon."

"I don't have a relationship with any of you. No one makes an effort. I'm a part of this office and you have to realize that. UNDERSTAND THAT. I have a TWO hour journey in the morning and I am frustrated when I get here. It will be easiest for everyone if I just work from home. I can't deal with this."

Julia: You have only just started. We haven't had time to build a relationship with you. You were in Atlanta all last week. If you work from home, how will you have a relationship anyway?

A: "Haven't you people heard of phone or email? HELLO?"

Julia: "Well, if you can't communicate face-to-face, how are you going to do it via the phone or email?"

It went on and ON. He was up in arms about everything and 'I don't know my schedule. I need priorities. I can't do everything at once. You people are crazy.'

Yup, it was that bad. Imagine worse.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Yoopers

Just came across this article on the UM webpage. It's pretty funny. Funnier still are the other names in the running for the most descriptive word for those crazy upper peninsulites: Pastian, Skeeter-Eater, or Michupper.

Pastian. That's funny. Mmmm, pasties. Does anyone from outside of Michigan even KNOW what those are? No, they're not stripper-wear. But that's funny too. Alright, here's a hint. Well, the answer, really.

Which brings me to the other fantastic things that one can only find in Michigan:





Faygo Pop (yes, POP) - Rock 'n' Rye is the BEST



And finally, Awrey's Bumpy Cake (and it has to be Awrey's, not Entenmann's)


I'll be back there this weekend. Again. I know, do I ever stop traveling? Have I spent a weekend in my own apartment at all this summer? Do I need to get some sleep? Meh.

Chi-Town, Beetches!

Man. That was a weekend. From dinner at the German sing-along restaurant to the sights at Market Days, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Hit up a few good bars on Friday night with Woelker and managed to prevent a hangover. Somehow. Maybe it was that plain Coke I ordered near the end of the night. Lame!

Saturday we went to this great little restaurant for lunch - Kitsch'n. Very clever. I got the Phat-Jacks. They were, well... phat. Then we hopped on the El and headed to Market Days.

Market Days. Right. Being both female and straight, I was definitely in the minority at this street fair. It reminded me of the Friends episode when Carol and Susan got married. At the lack of straight female prospects in attendance, Chandler remarks that the world is his "lesbian wedding." That was sort of how I found myself - in somewhat of a daze and realizing that all of these guys... well, they sure thought my jean miniskirt was "kicky!" I did look damn cute that day, not that it mattered... Lots of free stuff all around: I got a keychain, hair products, beads, and Tylenol PM. Yeah. I don't think that you understand how badly I was missing my camera. I saw the most fantastically beautiful men strolling amongst the most fantastically terrifying drag queens. The fabulousness beat the heat, that's for damn sure. Multiple... so many nipple piercings! All of the vendors had beer, but also, champagne slushies.
Champagne Slushies! Everyone was so happy and brilliant - and by brilliant, I mean sparkly. There was much sparkliness.

Lots of shopping in all kinds of really cool, unique boutiques and shops (I got a
sweet bag for work - I decided that it was about time I had a professional-looking bag rather than the beat-up, torn, holes-in-the-corners, no-longer-black bag I've had for years). Dinner at Matisse - really cool. We sat outside. The weather was AMAZING. Chicago is just phat. It was a great weekend. Thanks, Woelker!

Friday, August 05, 2005

Out!

I'm off to Chicago for the weekend. Lata, suckas!

(I'm sorry, that was rude. I hope that everyone has a great weekend - stories upon return, I'm sure. Especially since Woelker wants to take me to a gay club tonight. Even though we're both straight. I don't know).

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Garden-y Goodness


Oh, Garden State. Oh.

It was released last summer, and K-10 said that I would love it. She even had me buy the soundtrack - last summer - because she knew. She knew! And I finally got around to seeing it.

Just wonderful. I love me some Zach Braff. I can't wait to see what he develops next.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Random... but hilarious


Walking to work through the arches of Union Station this morning, I stopped short as a man in a gorilla suit handed me a banana and a card announcing the new special on the History Channel, "From Ape to Man."

It was a strange morning.