Upon Which I Got My Ass Handed to Me

You know when people say, "My child is a genius?" Normally, you realize that they are just acting like any proud parents, and really, their child is just average. Cute, but average.

But seriously, my niece is a freaking genius.

After completely SCHOOLING the rest of the family - every single member of the family over on Christmas Eve - she turned to me. Now, I don't mean to toot my own horn (what am I saying? Of course I do), but I have some pretty wicked memory skillz. I aced history tests in high school without studying, just because my photographic memory could remember where terms and dates were pictured on a page.

Several examples could follow, but I'm already getting bored with this, so please enjoy a photo essay of the GAME OF THE DECADE:

ALEXIS, the 4.5-year-old,
versus AUNT HEATHER, the 29.5-year-old.

LET THE GAME BEGIN.

After tricking her aunt into picking the wrong card,
Alexis celebrates an early minor victory.

The elusive sparrow card.

She looks sweet, sure, but her SINISTER GENIUS lurks just underneath.

The final count.
My stack is on the right, sadly.

Alexis reigns supreme, which was deeply unsettling to her Aunt Heather, who ABSOLUTELY HATES to lose, but tried to rein in her insanity.

It was a Christmas Miracle.