Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Boring.

I was just going to leave my review at that, as an homage to the two-word record review in This Is Spinal Tap, but then that turned into just listing my favorite quotes from Spinal Tap ("It's like, how much more black could this be? And the answer is none. None more black.") and completely took away from the review of this... film. So I'll get on with it...

I didn't see POC:DMC in the theater because I was on vacation in Maine and, well... there were better things to do. It's for the best, though, because I would have been annoyed to spend $10 on an overly long movie with pointless scenes and a dragging plot. Why was Sparrow king of that random tribe, for example? If that storyline was revisited, its inclusion would have at least made a little more sense. But it wasn't.

Johnny Depp was criminally underused as Captain Jack Sparrow and was rarely given the opportunity to be funny. I think that the phenomenal success of the first film had a good amount to do with the script and the actors' ability to ad lib effectively.

The other actors were fine - Orlando Bloom is easy on the eyes, as is Keira Knightley, and they are becoming more established as actors with each film. Bill Nighy was just excellent as Davy Jones (on a side note, I love Bill Nighy. I want to see everything he's done), and Jonathan Pryce's small role once again proved his acting chops. Finally, the costumes, sets, and effects were great, mirroring the first film.

Unfortunately, I found myself BORED and wondering if the film would EVER END. It was as if POC:DMC was only intended to be filler in a preconceived trilogy, just taking up space. Hell, look at the great trilogies of the past 30 years; many would argue that The Empire Strikes Back is the best of the original Star Wars films, and The Godfather: Part II is considered one of the best sequels ever made. I don't have to go out on a limb here to argue that in recent days, studios have been a little less interested in making a quality movie than in the box office returns. And that's what happened here. Ouch.

That said, I am definitely looking forward to the third one, mostly because I don't think that they could screw it up worse than the second. Plus, Keith Richards? The model for Depp's portrayal of Jack Sparrow? Awesome.