Friday, June 29, 2007

On the State of the Restroom

OH MY GOD I hate the women on this floor SO GD MUCH.

Goddammit, ladies, what the hell? Can we spray some perfume or something? Can we eat less fiber? Because GOD.

I am aware that it happens - sometimes nature calls whilst one is at her place of employment. But honestly, ladies? We're not men. We don't aspire to do... that... every day at work. We don't feel the inexplicable need to mark one's territory. We can do the crossword while seated in an actual chair.

Why? Because we are the fairer sex, yes? Because our "home office" is a little more well, private? Because women just don't DO that, RIGHT?

Fuck no.

Women are disgusting. It has long been my stance that any women's restroom will, on the whole, be infinitely more disgusting than any men's restroom at any given time.

But you might be saying, "Heather, that's crazy. Men are the disgusting ones! They are the ones who destroy public restrooms, not us! We are pretty and thoughtful of others and always smell of roses or, at the very least, Calvin Klein!"

And to that, I say, "Ah, yes, but not all male public restrooms are like the one in The Sweetest Thing! I mean, there are probably inappropriate haikus and limericks, and at least one glory hole, but there will most likely be less... drippage. Besides, we didn't get to SEE the state of the ladies room, did we, because the woman occupying said restroom announced that she would be awhile because she 'had lamb curry last night' and that she was 'shitting out a Buick.' And also, what woman SAYS THAT?"

Women are flat-out gross, especially the ones who use the restroom on this floor. I am not even going to TELL you what I once found smeared on the back of one of the stall doors. Them's the stuff nightmares are made of, my darlings.

Shudder.

So, ladies on the 7th floor of my stupid building: STOP IT.

At least go down to the sixth floor or something. That government agency deserves it.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Mocha

Heather's Body: OHHHHHH.... I desperately want a mocha.

Heather: What the holy hell is wrong with you? It's ninety million degrees outside.

Heather's Body: Cafe mocha! Cafe mocha! Cafe mocha!

Heather: No. They are full of sugar and whole milk and chocolate. You will fly high for about an hour and then pass out on the wrist-saving squishy thing on your desk.

Heather's Body: I'll get soy milk.

Heather: You know that tastes like poo. You know that you'll turn up your nose at it after three sips.

Heather's Body: ...

Heather: Shall we have a lovely green tea? With mint?

Heather's Body: ...

Heather: I can TOTALLY deal with this silent treatment.

Heather's Body: Cafe....... MOCHA! MOCHA! MOCHA! SUGARY MOCHA! YAAAAAAAY!

Heather: Sugar. Clearly what you need.

Heather's Body: Go downstairs, get me a mocha! Bitch!

Heather: No! The coffee places downstairs are absolutely awful and YOU KNOW IT. Remember that one place? Across from the mother fucking Dress Barn? They used a packet of Swiss Miss hot chocolate mix to make the mocha last time. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

Heather's Body: Well, I was thinking that we could walk to Starbucks.

Heather: You want me to walk, in this heat, six blocks, UPHILL, to STARBUCKS to buy a HOT DRINK?

Heather's Body: No, I was thinking that we could cut through the metro. It'll only cost $1.35!

Heather: NO. It will cost TWICE that, because metro is EVIL and charges you even if you don't get on a GD train. And then the mocha will cost $3.00 and we'll be out SIX DOLLARS because you can't CONTROL YOURSELF.

Heather's Body: ...

Heather: I'm sorry. How about we go to CVS and get a Nestle's Crunch?

Conversion

Okay, so I know that it's a little counter-productive, and probably more than a little wasteful, but I am in the process of replacing my well-worn VHS tapes with DVDs. In the long run, I know that it will be worth it, though I still refuse to believe that VHS tapes will one day become obsolete. C'mon! They're not beta, for crying out loud!

This process has been in effect for some time now. It's not like I can just drag ass to Best Buy and replace them all in a heartbeat - no, I have to take my time. Wait it out. Pay rent first and then see what's left over to squander away.

Behold my ridiculousness!

I have already replaced my beloved Audrey Hepburn tapes, and have moved on to 80s and 90s pleasures. The following list (a list I actually carry with me in case I find myself with disposable income) represents the VHS tapes languishing on the bottom shelf of the media tower:

Clerks
I know. Should have been replaced YEARS ago. I am aware. I quote this and Mallrats almost daily, and watching it brings me back to high school, watching it with my friend Ryan.

Girls Just Want to Have Fun
Forget about the catchy Cyndi Lauper song - Sarah Jessica Parker? Helen Hunt? Shannen Doherty? The bitch who plays Natalie Sands? Fantastic!

Kissing a Fool
David Schwimmer plays against type, which is refreshing, and Jason Lee can do no wrong in my book. It's formulaic, predictable, and sometimes a little cheesy, but I still like it.

Labyrinth
David Bowie in tights. That is all.

Mallrats
See Clerks, above.

PCU
My first encounter with Jeremy Piven. I was a smitten kitten. "What's this? You're wearing the shirt of the band you're going to see? Don't be that guy."

Robin Hood: Men in Tights
"The night is young, and you're so beautiful..." Ah, Mel Brooks.

Senior Trip
Tacky, tasteless, toilet humor. I love it.

Top Gun
Tom Cruise may be batshit crazy, but this movie is simply amazing. You know that I'm right.

Troop Beverly Hills
Oh my gosh, my cousins and I quoted this movie throughout the 90s. While exploring the Michigan metroparks, we would scour the landscape for "very, very deep ravines" to cross. This is easily one of my guilty pleasures/comfort films.

Vacation
There's long been an ongoing debate over this and Christmas Vacation. For me, Vacation is the clear winner, hands down. The script is funnier, the actors are better (especially the kids. It must have sucked having to find new actors for each installment, but Anthony Michael Hall? He was the best Rusty), and there's just more to work with here. Wallyworld? Amazing.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Why Does it Always Rain On Me?

...when I'm wearing my white pants? Stupid weather.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Drop Dead Gorgeous



I remember watching this with K-10 -- it was the summer between our freshman and sophomore years of college, and we had subletted a tiny, craptastic apartment in a small house on campus. We had a pot-smoking drunk neighbor who we named Creepy Creepy, an apartment filled with save-the-earth cleaning products and "natural" tampons (the girl from whom we subletted was a bit of a tree-hugger, to say the least), and a bedroom with a huge mirror by the bed (the guys called it the porn room).

That was the summer I learned how to cover my can of Coke with foil if I couldn't finish it, that yoga and chips 'n' salsa are the two best things on earth, and that my sheltered, all-girl's-Catholic-school, best friend had an amazing sense of humor. A miracle, really, given that her crazy mother wouldn't let her watch much more than Little House on the GD Prairie (to this day I'm still trying to catch her up on 80s staples like The Karate Kid and The Goonies).

Drop Dead Gorgeous is a mockumentary set in the fictional town of Mount Rose, Minnesota, and follows the town through the Mount Rose American Teen Princess Pageant. The contestants are all high school girls competing for the chance to go to the state pageant, and they are all so very special.

Amber Atkins (Kirsten Dunst) and Rebecca Leeman (Denise Richards) are the front runners for the title of American Teen Princess. Two girls from opposite sides of the tracks: Amber lives in a trailer park with her mom (Ellen Barkin) and Rebecca's family is the richest in town. Amber is a talented, nice person, and Rebecca... not so much.

But, as most small towns go, the pageant is a huge deal for its residents. As one of the contestants (Brittany Murphy) states, "If you're 18, and you're not a total fry... it's jus whatcha do." The three judges are chosen from the town, and their characters do not disappoint (a hardware store owner with a retarded brother, a woman who works for Rebecca's dad, and a slightly creepy middle-aged man who says "young girls" waaaaay too many times).

Things move along fairly smoothly... until contestants start getting hurt and/or killed.

This is a dark comedy, though more "comedy" than "dark, " in my opinion. It's freaking hysterical, especially if you find the northern accent funny (Fargo, anyone?). Kirstie Alley is absolutely amazing as Rebecca's mother, Gladys, and Alison Janney is pitch perfect as Amber's mom's trailer trash best friend, Loretta. The script is great, with some hilarious one-liners ("Jesus Christ on a cross," "Mom still cries every time she sees a tilt-a-whirl or a fat lady in a tube top," and "Hey hey, Miss Penthouse '98, close those legs, I could drive a boat show in there."). The film drags near the end, but is still quite satisfying.

(And because imdb is awesome, I learned that the featured mall is not the Mall of America, it's the Eden Prairie Center - the same one used in Mallrats. Snootchie Bootchies!)

Right, so check out Drop Dead Gorgeous. It's funny, you betcha.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Bummer, eh?

Ladies, do me a favor. Click on this link, and search by size four. Then take a little gander. This is probably your idea of hell, isn't it? Welcome to my life. This is it. The only cute ones are $200 and up. So I buy children's shoes.

Also, what in holy fuck are these things and why won't they die?


Seriously horrific. They are an insult to fashion and women and all feet everywhere. Stop it, crocs. Or whatever tard name you've chosen.

Anyway, check you later, DC. I'm gone for the weekend. If I see any tard shoes at the airport, I guess I'll find out if those vomit bags actually work.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Ak-scents

Good story - when in grad school, one of my friends got engaged. I was invited to the wedding shower, at Gordon Biersch. Now, Megan was from New York but went to school at BYU, and most of her friends were from Utah. At the shower, three people asked me if I was from the Midwest, and one person asked if I was specifically from Michigan.

Yeah, my akscent is awesome.

Anyway, this is a cool quiz, and right on - at least for me. Try it out!


What American accent do you have?

Northern

You have a Northern accent. That could either be the Chicago/Detroit/Cleveland/Buffalo accent (easily recognizable) or the Western New England accent that news networks go for.

Personality Test Results

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Not Again

I am finally convinced that karma has it in for me and is insistent on kicking me in the face.

My flight for this upcoming Sunday? From Michigan back to DC? Was cancelled.

Touche, karma. Always with the flights. WHY?!!?!?

I was on the phone last night when I heard the beep of an incoming call. I didn't recognize the number and thus let voicemail do its job. Once I finished my very important phone call, I thought that I'd check it out:

"This is an animated message from the Northwest Airlines Reservations Center. Your flight on... Sunday, June 24... has been... cancelled... due to... equipment problems."

Fuck.

The computer then told me that I had been rescheduled for a 2:30 p.m. flight on Monday.

No.

I called and the operator was super awesome and got me on a flight into Dulles instead. Sucky, for sure, but better than pissing off my boss even more than I already have lately (last week was EPIC, let me tell you). And since my roommate is a beautiful princess, she's going to pick my ass up. Thank goodness.

I have GOT to figure out what it is that's pissing off karma...

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Prescription Woes

Prescription coverage. Holy Jesus.

My mom, a public school teacher in Michigan, had the most amazing insurance (my dad's law firm had crap insurance. Go figure). It covered everything. Plus - and I know that y'all are never going to believe me when I tell you this - our prescription co-pay was only $0.50 on any prescription. FIFTY CENTS. Fact.

Good thing, too, since my brother seemed to catch colds, coughs, and fevers for the both of us. I rarely got sick, but I do remember getting chicken pox on the last day of second grade. Suck!

Anyway, when one child was sick, the other made out like a bandit. The pharmacy we used was a little Mom and Pop place that eventually went under thanks to Arbor Drugs (now CVS) and Rite Aid, but that's where I got my Archie comics fill (and Clearly Canadian!). When my little brother was sick, he got to choose one dollar's worth of candy... and so did I. It was awesome. The little old lady at the register would hand us each a tiny paper bag and we could pick from penny candy all the way up to the very expensive ten-cent candy. It. Was. AWESOME.

Prescriptions stayed under a buck until I was in high school, at which time our co-pay skyrocketed to $2.00 per prescription. Horrendous, I know.

Now, as an "adult," I have what is considered phenomenal coverage (by who? I don't know - it's what I'm told) because I only have to pay 25% of my prescription costs.

Fast forward to today. My dermatologist prescribed something in pill form and gave me a $50 coupon to "help" with the out-of-pocket costs. That... kinda scared me.

With the help of the coupon, I ended up paying $28 for the pills. The cost without insurance? $427.99. To CLEAR UP PIMPLES. Not to treat cancer and not to keep my heart beating regularly. To make my skin pretty.

Unreal.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Fast Food Nation

Basically, I almost threw up on the plane.

I don't know what made me watch this film. Okay, I know exactly what governed my choice: all of the other movies were total crap except for Casino Royale, and I just couldn't watch the delicious Daniel Craig get whacked in the sack with chains again.

Speaking of, what in the world is happening here? The Silver Fox and His Deliciousness? Together? TALKING? The hotness overwhelms!

Excuse me for a moment.

Okay, now that that's taken care of... the matter at hand!

Fast Food Nation follows the lives of people who are all connected to Mickey's, a McDonald's/Burger King/Whatever clone. Greg Kinnear plays an advertising exec, new to Mickey's, who travels to Colorado to discover why their meat has been getting poorly reviewed by the FDA.

Raul and Sylvia (Wilmer Valderrama and Catalina Sandino Moreno) are illegal Mexican immigrants who find work in the slaughterhouse that supplies area Mickey's restaurants. The unbelievable desire to live in the United States is enough for them to ignore the horrific nature of their low-paying jobs.

Ashley Johnson, who you may remember as Chrissy Seaver, is a diligent high school student working at Mickey's to earn money for college.

Small turns by Ethan Hawke, Bruce Willis, Patricia Arquette, and Kris Kristofferson just showcase the amazing casting job and enhance the film. The main characters have vastly differing storylines so they don't interact with each other, but as a whole, these stories relate to form a comprehensive, if sometimes slow-moving, story.

Now. I don't want to give anything away, especially since there really isn't much of a traditional Hollywood "ending," but I will say that I have not eaten fast food since.

(Kind of like when I stopped eating meat in the dorms because my coworker saw boxes unloaded at East Quad with "GRADE D BEEF: SUITABLE FOR DORMITORY AND PRISON USE ONLY" stamped on them. Thanks, most expensive public university in the country! I'll just have cereal for dinner).

I'm not the best example, though, as I rarely eat fast food. Perhaps the filmmakers took several liberties with the facts, perhaps they elaborated, perhaps they made some guesses... but I don't think so. Considering the film was based on a book of the same name, I think that their information was fairly credible.

And if even one SHRED of it was true... well... UGH.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Going to the Chapel

The most beautiful bride EVER.

Congratulations, Merrick and Gerald!

(See all pics here.)

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Always a Bridesmaid...

Well, it's official: my little brother and his girlfriend are no longer going to be living in sin like common heathens... he proposed last night.

With a house, one child, and another on the way, he still thought that it was important to ask her father's permission. Aw. He called me last night when I was cheering on the Nats at RFK Stadium (which was a total blast - thanks for the invite!).

I was practically in tears. This was a long time coming, folks. I am SO happy.

A2

I love Ann Arbor. Every time I return, I get this amazing feeling -- that I belong. Don't get me wrong, moving to DC was the best decision I've ever made, but feeling so comfortable, so at home? That's something you just can't buy. Well, unless you cruise L Street, NW, at 12:30 a.m.

After a quick stop at Steve & Barry's, I forced FORCED Mike, Kelly, and Brent into the Exhibit Museum. I missed my friends, the dinosaurs:

Big Al. Allosaurus.

Edmontosaurus. Duck-billed dino.

Deinonychus. Bigger than velociraptor. THAT'S RIGHT.

Heather and the Mastodons.
Hmmm, that sounds like a sitcom.

Wolverine! Schnicky schnicky schnike!

Mike doesn't know what he's gotten himself into.
And I don't mean the canoe :)

I also found out that if I do decide to move back to A2 for yet another degree, there will always be a job there for me. Very, very nice to hear. I loved working there.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Channel 1

Who else had Channel One in school?

I remember being forced to watch it in middle school. We hated it at the time, but it really did present unbiased news - something that I doubt most would have gotten at home. On the flip side, it was underwritten by huge corporations like Pepsi, Doritos, and the like, so we were subjected to an immense amount of advertising by companies that probably creamed their pants with the chance to advertise in schools.

But Channel One didn't just bring us painful, forced consumerism! No! It contributed to the early careers of super fantastic people, like:

Rawley Valverde - Okay honestly? I have no idea what he's doing now. I just love saying his name.

Serena Altschul - She moved around from MTV to CNN to CBS. Plus, she's hot.

Lisa Ling - From The View to the National Geographic channel to being on a first name basis with Oprah, Lisa Ling has MADE IT. Or whatever.

Kathy Kronenberger - Again, I just like her name. I think that she had a sweet perm, too.

Maria Menounos - I don't remember her on the show. But she's done well... especially with the pre-teen set.

Tracy Smith - My AP Calculus teacher was OBSESSED with her. If she wasn't an anchor on Channel One that day, he would actually turn off the tv and refuse to let us watch it. This is also the same teacher who prepared us for the AP test SO WELL that none of us bothered to take it. We knew that it would be a tremendous waste of money because we learned NOTHING. And then I almost failed regular Calculus in college. THANKS. He had alopecia... I don't know why that matters...

And the most awesome of all?

Anderson "The Silver Fox" Cooper - What can I say? He's beautiful and he reports damn fine news: he was the only non-pussy Channel One anchor who reported from the Middle East during Desert Storm. Plus, he gorgeous.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Onion Karma

Do you see what you get? Do you see what you get when you mess with karma? ("Do you see what you get, Carla? Do you see what you get when you mess with The WARRIOR?")

I have the worst luck with planes. Awful. I was lucky enough to avoid any problems on my London flight, so I guess I was pretty much asking for this:

On Friday, waiting at Reagan for my flight, I got Five Guys, just for the onion breath (okay, for the actual burger. I love me their little hamburger). I knew that my US Airways Express flight would be chock-full of businessmen (it was) and I wanted to annoy them because they annoy me. But I couldn't go through with it - I popped a piece of gum anyway. I felt bad for thinking like that. No one wanted to smell my onion breath.

I proceeded to have an amazing weekend in Michigan with my family, friends, and... new friends. I watched my niece turn two, I played some euchre, I went to Ann Arbor... I just didn't want to leave. I went to the airport extremely happy, but a little sad that I had to get on a plane.

And then, after waiting in line for twenty minutes (what the hell, US Air? Why do you not have separate lines for those of us not checking luggage?), my Sunday evening flight got cancelled. Flat out hope- you- have- somewhere- to- stay- because- we're- blaming- this- on- the- weather cancelled. They got me on a 7:15 a.m. flight the next morning, which was awesome because I got to attend to some unfinished business, but when I checked in, I didn't have a seat.

Standby. Sweet.

Then, I entered the longest security line ever. This jerk guy deliberately cut in front of me, and I was NOT having it. "Excuse me, sir? Where are you going?" and I made him move. Then, before the detectors, he stole my bin. "SIR" is all I said. He gave it back. Jackhole.

I got a seat, and then a layover in Philly. Scary, huge airport. Delayed plane.

Where's the GD plane?

We finally arrived in DC an hour late, and I made the mistake of going into work. I had been up since 4:30 a.m., and I promptly fell asleep at my desk. So I went home and fell asleep on the couch instead.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Do not eat onions with a wicked heart. Karma will bite you on the ass.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Blogiquette

I've been doing this bloggy thing for over two years now, but I'm still a little foggy on the etiquette involved. And yes, I know that there is etiquette.

For example, I know that responding to one's own comments is considered polite and borderline necessary, so I respond. I like that it builds up the comments and I love that it encourages dialogue amongst my readers (did I just say, "my readers?" Oh jeez...)

Also, I know that you're technically supposed to ask someone before linking to their blog, so I generally do that. But honestly, I don't think that it's a must. If you like a blog and appreciate its content, link away! I am flattered when it happens to me, and will most likely link back to you, too. It seems to be a win-win situation, but if anyone ever requested that I remove their link, I would do so immediately.

You might find a blog you like and decide to link to it, but you can't get upset if he/she doesn't link back to you. It's nothing personal. If you make it personal, it starts to get weird. Don't let it get weird.

But then, things get a little confusing. What happens when someone removes you from his/her blogroll without notice? Do you take offense? Do you call him/her on it? Do you remove the link on your blog?

I know that it's probably not worth worrying over, and I really shouldn't take offense. If this is the worst thing that happens in my little online world, then I should consider myself lucky, right? I'm going to get over this slight, and continue to enjoy this little niche I've carved for myself.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

The Anti-Bridezilla

My lovely, wonderful friend, Merrick, is getting married on June 9th and I am honored to be a bridesmaid. It's going to be a beautiful wedding, I'm really excited to get dressed up, and I am just so, so happy for her.

I went for my fitting on May 19, and that's when they discovered that they had forgotten to order my dress.

Awesome.

I talked to them today, and it's not due to be delivered to the bridal shop until June 6th or 7th. And I need massive alterations because I am what you would call petite.

Again, the wedding is June 9th.

Super fantastic.

I didn't want to bother Merrick with this ridiculousness, but they called her anyway. After she came down from her mini anger cloud, she somehow talked them out of the alteration fees (and at $90.00, I'm glad they insisted on calling her), and made everything all better. They swore up and down that the alterations could be done in mere hours. She didn't freak out, she didn't get stressed, and she didn't raise her voice.

She's going to make a good wife.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Heath-ohLordkillmenow-row

Oh LORD.

K-10 dropped me at the Russell Square tube station on Tuesday and I took the hour-long trip to Heathrow for my flight back to the States.

So after getting through security and getting frisked (yes, she was hot and she totally touched my boob), I walked into the largest Duty-Free area that I've ever seen. I've never understood the whole duty-free thing, but I guess some people DO need gallons of perfume and pounds of chocolate. It was like a food court, but the eateries were replaced by Chanel and Burberry.

Vomit.

So I was stuck in the giant perfume court, waiting for my gate to be announced. I bought like, twelve bottles of water and sat down. And then, Christina sat down next to me.

How do I know her name? Well, you know the type of girl who cannot stop talking? Put her in an airport with nothing but her cell phone to entertain her, and see what happens.

She was an American studying in the UK somewhere, and instead of buying a magazine or something, she found it necessary to call every. single. person in her phone. And she said basically the same thing in every single instance:

"Hey (insert name here), it's Christina! I know you're in class, but I just wanted to tell you I'm in Heathrow waiting for my flight. I'll be in tonight at ten. So excited to see you! Okay, bye. I'll call you when I get in. Can't wait. Okay, love you. Bye! Hope you're having fun. We'll catch up. Yeah, okay. Talk to you later! Okay, bye!"

It was bad.

I got her whole name (she spelled it out for someone at some point), and if I had been really evil, I could have copied down her social security number as she recited it for two different people.

Just put down the GD phone and READ A BOOK. GOD.

When my gate number finally appeared on the giant screen, I all but RAN out of there. I waited in yet another line and got frisked AGAIN. Then we sat and waited. Again. They finally announced that we were boarding, and "will everyone please stay seated until your row is called? Do not block the doors. Cheers!"

People pay attention OH SO WELL. This is what it looked like:

We just want to get on the plane and sit there for an hour! Yay!

The flight was... not as good as last time, but still not horrible. I had a window seat, which was fantastic! I watched a few flicks: For Your Consideration & Fast Food Nation (which deserves its own post, eventually. Once I get the vomit out of the back of my throat), and a few television shows. We got skipped over for dinner, but once we got it, it was very nice. Then I got super bored and stared at this for about an hour:

Almost home!

Glad to be back, and I will definitely fly Virgin Atlantic next time. Even if it means dealing with Heathrow. Still totally worth it.

And now... I'm off to DCA. Gah. I am SO getting Five Guys.

(Oh, and I'm flying a US Air Express flight or something, which I think means asshat businessmen. Enjoy my onion breath, suckas!)

Cool Aunt Heather?

This afternoon, I'm hopping a flight to Detroit for my niece's 2nd birthday party. It's unreal to me that I even have a niece, let alone a two-year-old niece!

I remember pacing around the Memorial Day barbecue back in 2005, my cell phone glued to my hand, waiting for any news from Michigan. Kari had been in labor for hours and hours and things were getting a little tense (while watching the video later that week, seeing her father punch the wall in frustration was just heart breaking). There weren't enough doctors, and when complications arose, no one knew what was going on. Alexis was finally born by Cesarean section late that night. Watching my brother hold his daughter for the first time left me with tears running down my face. (Obviously.)

I never thought that I would be one of those far-away relatives. Growing up, I had friends with relatives who lived out of state, but I never thought that I would be one of those people. Then again, I didn't think that my little brother would have a child before I did (actually, two. The next one is due in December. Gah).

But I guess that's life!

I'm excited to see her, but I am a little nervous that she won't remember me. I haven't been back to Michigan since Christmas, and even then it was only for a few days. I want to be Cool Aunt Heather, but that can't happen if I'm only in town once in a blue moon. Something to ponder, I suppose...

It'll be good to be back, though. I'll get to hang out with Tonks and have some margaritas at Mexican Gardens. I might even take a little trip to Ann Arbor. I'm not all that anxious to get my ass back on a plane after that 8.5 hour flight on Tuesday, but since it's less than an hour, I'm thinking that it's going to be nothing more than a hiccup!