Saturday, May 26, 2012

I Went to Camp and All I Got Was This Stupid T-Shirt

Except that the t-shirt is actually AWESOME.  More on that later...

My mom is a fifth grade teacher, and near the end of every school year, the entire fifth grade goes to camp for five days.  I didn't go to school in my mom's district, and MY stupid district didn't go to camp.  We went to Cedar Point instead.  Which is NOT THE SAME THING AT ALL.

There weren't enough moms available to go as chaperones, so I quickly volunteered. At first, I was really excited.  I love the outdoors - you know, nature and shit - and I was thrilled to be able to spend time with my mom for a week.

But then it hit me.  Sure, I went to camp as an adult before.  But the last time I went, I was 21 years old and in the best shape of my life.  Now?  Well, I'm 31.  Enough said.

My mom's school has attended Camp Michindoh for years, though not long enough for me to have been there.  I only knew the previous camp, and that camp... wasn't all that awesome.  For one, the cabins were for sleeping only.  The bathrooms and showers were in a completely different building, accessible only after trudging through a pine forest floor.  So when girls had to go in the middle of the night, they basically woke up the whole cabin as they got situated for a trek across the campground.


I went, it was awesome, and I want to go back next year.  Here are some pictures!

 I wasn't kidding about that shirt, you guys.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Lazy Slob

I took Mike to the airport this morning. 

This is what the hallway looks like this evening:

Seriously, you guys.  I need to be policed.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

My Neighbors Are Assholes

Dear Neighbors,

Let me tell you a little story about wild animals.  They are WILD.  

Granted, you aren't as bad as those other neighbors - you know, the ones we could hear through the walls? Fighting and screaming and swearing all the live-long day?  Letting their toddler waltz about outside in a shirt and a diaper - no pants, socks, or shoes?  IN NOVEMBER?

You're not that bad.

But stop feeding the raccoons!  Stop it!  

"This is to show you how cute and non-menacing I am.
Is it working?
It's working, isn't it?"

But basically, you need to stop feeding them because they have come to see you as a resource.  They might not be looking for food on their own anymore.  And now that they know that they have a steady food source, they have raised their babies here!

"It's 6:02.  They're late with the hot dog buns."


Sunday, May 06, 2012

Pink Envelopes = Anger. ANGER!

As usual, I waited until the last minute to do my taxes this year.  It's not that I was procrastinating, it's just that I had a hollow feeling that I was going to owe money, and I didn't want to hand it over to those bastards until the last possible moment.

Well, mostly it was the procrastination.

So there I am, at 7:00 p.m. on April 16, sitting at the computer with TurboTax, slowly coming to the realization that the number in the upper right-hand corner?  In RED?  Was the money that I was going to have to pay to the government.

I'm not going to go on a rampage about tax rates and the one percent and whatnot and blah blah blah.  All I am going to say is that I really don't make much money, and the government apparently thinks that I STILL don't pay them enough.

Oh, and the stupid state of Michigan can also suck it.

So I decided that the best way to show my displeasure with the tax code would be mother fucking PINK envelopes.  That'll show them!


God, I'm poor.

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Pizza. Deconstructed.

I was craving a BBQ Chicken Pizza the other night, but there was no way that I was changing out of my pajamas and back into real clothes to go to a restaurant or the grocery store, and there was also no way that I wanted to actually spend money of any kind.

It turns out that I had almost everything I needed on hand, which was miraculous, considering that I bought all of those things at random last weekend, but I didn't have pizza crust, nor was I going to make some from scratch.  The laziness was just too much for me. IT ABOUNDED.

But I did have a ton of brown rice.

So I took a chance, warmed it up, and... it was amazing.  AMAZING.
  • short grain brown rice, cooked
  • 1 cooked chicken thigh, chunked (I grilled mine on my nifty grill pan)
  • fresh pineapple chunks
  • 1 green onion, diced
  • fresh cilantro, roughly chopped
  • barbeque sauce
  • salt and pepper
Assemble and warm in microwave.  Can also be served chilled.  Brilliant!

And I'm sure that most normal people would add cheese, but cheese is the devil.  So I didn't.