Heather's Body: OHHHHHH.... I desperately want a mocha.
Heather: What the holy hell is wrong with you? It's ninety million degrees outside.
Heather's Body: Cafe mocha! Cafe mocha! Cafe mocha!
Heather: No. They are full of sugar and whole milk and chocolate. You will fly high for about an hour and then pass out on the wrist-saving squishy thing on your desk.
Heather's Body: I'll get soy milk.
Heather: You know that tastes like poo. You know that you'll turn up your nose at it after three sips.
Heather's Body: ...
Heather: Shall we have a lovely green tea? With mint?
Heather's Body: ...
Heather: I can TOTALLY deal with this silent treatment.
Heather's Body: Cafe....... MOCHA! MOCHA! MOCHA! SUGARY MOCHA! YAAAAAAAY!
Heather: Sugar. Clearly what you need.
Heather's Body: Go downstairs, get me a mocha! Bitch!
Heather: No! The coffee places downstairs are absolutely awful and YOU KNOW IT. Remember that one place? Across from the mother fucking Dress Barn? They used a packet of Swiss Miss hot chocolate mix to make the mocha last time. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?
Heather's Body: Well, I was thinking that we could walk to Starbucks.
Heather: You want me to walk, in this heat, six blocks, UPHILL, to STARBUCKS to buy a HOT DRINK?
Heather's Body: No, I was thinking that we could cut through the metro. It'll only cost $1.35!
Heather: NO. It will cost TWICE that, because metro is EVIL and charges you even if you don't get on a GD train. And then the mocha will cost $3.00 and we'll be out SIX DOLLARS because you can't CONTROL YOURSELF.
Heather's Body: ...
Heather: I'm sorry. How about we go to CVS and get a Nestle's Crunch?
6 comments:
mmmm, nestle crunch.
I have a similar argument with myself on many a day. And then I send out an email to my coworker along the lines of, "I might be going to starbucks today, because I really want caffeine, and the stuff we have here is crap, but it's really hot outside, and i don't want to spend the money, so I might not go, but I might, so if I do, and again I'm not committing here, but if I do, do you want to go?"
jlr - EXACTLY. We are insane.
the real tragedy of this story is that you work 6 blocks away from a starbucks. isn't that against the law or something?!
carrie - I know, it's practically criminal to not have a starbucks within spitting distance. When my office was in Chinatown, I had my choice of THREE within two blocks. Amazing.
We have Au Bon Pain, but it's expensive-r and takes too long...
Perhaps I need to not be picky.
Were you channeling Pearl? That was awesome!
lem - Haha, Pearl! "I wanna get my drink on."
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