Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Madame Total Waste of Money's

In a town where image is everything and politicians are the real celebrities, it was only a matter of time before they were immortalized in wax.

Washington D.C. has got its very own Madame Tussaud's. Great. Completely necessary. Also completely necessary? The $25 admittance fee. TWENTY. FIVE. DOLLARS. To look at mannequins.

That's steep, even for this town.

Let me be perfectly clear: I would never pay the $25 fee to see a bunch of wax figurines, and it pains me to know that people WILL. I would pay $25 to enter The Louvre, maybe (in fact, I may have, for all I know. Stupid conversion rates!), you know - to see priceless works of art? Of course, being able to actually touch and even pose with tabloid fodder might seem pretty exciting in a town full of "Do Not Touch" and "No Photographs, Please" signs. So what do I know?

Now, you may have already scrolled down and saw some pictures. You might be saying, "Heather, you are such a GD hypocrite. You went to Madame Tussaud's. Don't lie. I SAW THE PICTURES."

Yes. I did go. For free. Thanks to being an employee at a rather large museum um... chain, here in town, I got to attend a free preview. I figured that free admission and an hour and a half away from work was worth dropping my museum-snob persona.

(And oh! Was it nice to be away from work!)

Right, so we entered the building at the group entrance and immediately started down several flights of stairs. Everything was very red.

Welcome to a strange reality!

The first figure I encountered was... well, before I read the label, I thought that it was Rodney Dangerfield in a military outfit. Not so! No, this is George III, the tyrant English king who loved to put taxes on tea and whatnot. Taxation without representation!

Wow, some things never change in this town.

Jefferson says, shake hands with a Founding Father!

FDR, looking uncomfortable.

Winston Churchill always looks so pissed off.
Maybe because he was forced out of office after WWII!
Oh right, you didn't come here for facts.
Sorry.

Mike relaxes with Julia Roberts.
She was thinner than my wrist, no joke.
(Seeing how thin these celebrities were was a little disconcerting.)

Gordon and J-Lo.

Bored and indifferent. Just like in real life!

Gordon refused to pose with Beyonce.
"They made her too thin."
Amazing.

"I'm not sure what four nines does,
but the ace, I think, is pretty high."

You're glib.
Also, I haven't aged well. Xenu?

All in all, it was a nice diversion, but it was just so... ridiculous. The labels were short and of little value, and once you bypassed the historical figures, the labels disappeared entirely. I think that this is Madonna. Not sure though!

I only got fooled once, by a figurine of an Asian tourist taking a photograph. It was hilarious, in a totally offensive kind of way. Nicely done, Madame Tussaud's! Stereotypes are fun for all ages!

And now you're thinking, "Jeez! Get off your high horse - it's not a museum!" You are correct, it's NOT a museum. It's a high-priced celebrity peep show. TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS. Would a family of four really drop $100 on twenty minutes of escapism? Lord, I hope not.

I'm thinking that the ones in London and NYC might be better. But definitely don't waste your time in D.C.

Instead, go to a museum! Like, I don't know... one of these, maybe. Free!

(All pictures from my all-inclusive tour can be found here. Save your money and click away.)

10 comments:

Waayers said...

Beyonce looks like Maya Rudolph playing a drunk Beyonce. And she's about to fall over.

Waayers said...

Also? Don't you think it's a little bit creepy that they have Lincoln sitting in Ford's Theatre? It makes me wonder why they didn't have the Kennedys sitting in the back of a convertible.

Heather said...

waayers - It TOTALLY looks like Maya Rudolph. Right on.

And yeah, Lincoln at Ford's Theater was a bit creepy. Me sitting next to him was also creepy. Jackie O was wearing the suit from the fateful day, however. In poor taste? Not at Mme. Tussaud's!

Carrie M said...

1. wax people freak me out.

2. i hate paying to get into a museum b/c i grew up in DC. you want how much? but the smithsonian is freeee...

Deals On Wheels said...

I have an irrational fear of wax people. Shiver.

Heather said...

carrie - it's always such a shock to go to NYC or Chicago and have to PAY to enter a museum. Of course, I'm happy to pay at a museum. Madame Tussaud's? No.

deals - you also have an irrational fear of donuts, so I don't know what else to say.

JLR said...

I gotta go with Carrie and deals--the wax people are freaky.

Heather said...

jlr - thing is? When you touched them, they felt like mannequins. I thought that they would be like, I don't know... barbies or something. Bizarre.

Anonymous said...

Are you sure that isn't Rodney Dangerfield? I think it is.

Heather said...

lem - I know! I really had to read the label to be sure.