Mornings

I wouldn't be going out on too long of a limb to assume that my having a morning routine is fairly normal, right? I mean, it doesn't make me OCD. Arranging my closet by color accomplishes that.

I have such a set routine - from the order that things happen in the shower to when I put on eyeshadow and when I dry my hair. It's a nice, smooth, efficient system and I can usually be out the door in about 35 minutes.

I would go through this fascinating routine for you, but I'm falling asleep just thinking about it, so I'll spare you. You're welcome!

Right, so mornings were rolling along quite nicely. And then Audrey entered the picture.

Audrey, you may recall, is my laptop. She's... a dream. I love her, but she is such a controlling bitch! I used to run to the living room to check the weather channel, but she insists that I refresh weather.com instead. And then she makes me check my email, then the news, and then all of a sudden, I'm playing Mahjong (and I am so good at Mahjong) and I should have been drying my hair already! What the crap!?

Dammit.