Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Jenny's Birthday

***I am posting this ONLY as a lesson to all you young folks out there: Do not attempt to blog after a night of drinking. You're only hurting yourselves.***

Cue the squiggly lines and flashback music and let us return to... LAST NIGHT:

BASICALLY, old rooommie Jenny is a year oldddr, and I am too meny glasses of Blanc deep to make fun of her! Yay!

You see, I rhought thaT Ai WAS smart by not drinking the sanfria, but afteter dos glasses of chablis balnc or whatever, at ELLA'S, I learned that I am not exempt from the drujnkenness.


Happy Birhtdat Jenny!@ aND m,any happy returns! (I htknk that PIglet said that. Or Pooh.)


And much love to Ross and Kamasha for not making fun of the drunken HEather. Also, thanks to Chris at Ella's and our server at Zaytinya. Was awesome!


Oh and in case you were wondering, here is the pictuer evidence:


Tasted like peaches!

Jenny is NOT having a conversation with you right now.

Do not want.

My camera sucks.

Right, so this is as good a time as any to explain why drinking at Ella's is a BAD IDEA for me. I never seem to get drunk -- unless I go to Ella's. And I sure don't know that I'm drunk. Not until the next morning, at least.

See, though, we went to Ella's first for a quick drink and then had to slam our sangria in order to make our dinner reservations. But then at dinner we drank a LOT. And then we returned to Ella's. Which was... not the most intelligent choice.

I got home last night, attempted to post the above atrocity (apparently), and then promptly passed out at the foot of my bed. I woke up at 2:30 and thought that my brain was trying to BREAK THROUGH MY SKULL. Somehow, I got back to sleep. But my head is still pounding, even now.

Great, right?

Oh, but I have a better one! After a night at Ella's back in the springtime months, and round after round after round of sangria, I somehow got myself home. (Have I mentioned that this was also a Wednesday? Oh, it was.) I wasn't sick, but I distinctly remember trying to lie down in the bathroom. I pulled a towel off of the rack to serve as a pillow, and attempted sleep. Apparently I found the floor to be too chilly, and as I had stripped off most of my clothes by this point, I crawled into the hallway and slept there for a few hours. When I woke up - again, in the middle of the damn night - I had to really search my brain for an answer to "Why am I asleep in the fucking hallway?"

I know that these stories are nothing compared to, "And then I woke up in a dumpster in Connecticut," but they're pretty intense for me. Drinking is bad, mmmkay?

OMG, my head.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

(When I was young) In college, I got drunk. Then I kept drinking and was so drunk, I did not realize that I was drinking beer from a rusty can. Frick!

Heather said...

megan - how is? What? Like a rusty beer can (which, I don't see how...) or an actual rusty can that once held corn or something?

Either way, did you enjoy your tetanus shot?

Anonymous said...

Rusty beer can. The beer was so old that the can had rusted. And I vomited. A lot. I am glad to know you only ride public transportation and get headaches after drinking too much. :P

Steezer said...

how do you go to ellas so much...i go to ellas so much...and yet i never see you there. wha-huh?

Heather said...

megan - Sweet Jesus, that's disgusting!

But being on public transportation isn't always a picnic at the end of a long night - metro trains covered in vomit.

Stephanie - I know! It's a conspiracy or something.

JLR said...

I cannot believe that I forgot to comment here and reference my favorite word for how you were feeling after this night: crapulent.

I think that is such a perfect word. I mean, if you were going to make up a work for how you felt after a hard night of drinking, wouldn't you come up with crapulent? And yet, it's not made up! At least, not by us.

Waayers said...

Hilarious! Thanks for making me laugh today, HP. (At the drunken blog post, not at your hangover, of course.)

Heather said...

jlr - Seriously, that word is fabulous. It's like the antithesis of scrumtrulescent. I shall try and remember to use it in the near future.

Waayers - The hangover wasn't *that* bad, but I really need to learn to avoid the computer when I come home sloshed off my ass...

Anonymous said...

What was that word that Rhett asked if you used? "Scrumtrulescent" reminded me of it.

Heather said...

Scrumptious. Which I still maintain DOES NOT exist in my vocabulary. Stupid Rhett.