Madame Total Waste of Money's

In a town where image is everything and politicians are the real celebrities, it was only a matter of time before they were immortalized in wax.

Washington D.C. has got its very own Madame Tussaud's. Great. Completely necessary. Also completely necessary? The $25 admittance fee. TWENTY. FIVE. DOLLARS. To look at mannequins.

That's steep, even for this town.

Let me be perfectly clear: I would never pay the $25 fee to see a bunch of wax figurines, and it pains me to know that people WILL. I would pay $25 to enter The Louvre, maybe (in fact, I may have, for all I know. Stupid conversion rates!), you know - to see priceless works of art? Of course, being able to actually touch and even pose with tabloid fodder might seem pretty exciting in a town full of "Do Not Touch" and "No Photographs, Please" signs. So what do I know?

Now, you may have already scrolled down and saw some pictures. You might be saying, "Heather, you are such a GD hypocrite. You went to Madame Tussaud's. Don't lie. I SAW THE PICTURES."

Yes. I did go. For free. Thanks to being an employee at a rather large museum um... chain, here in town, I got to attend a free preview. I figured that free admission and an hour and a half away from work was worth dropping my museum-snob persona.

(And oh! Was it nice to be away from work!)

Right, so we entered the building at the group entrance and immediately started down several flights of stairs. Everything was very red.

Welcome to a strange reality!

The first figure I encountered was... well, before I read the label, I thought that it was Rodney Dangerfield in a military outfit. Not so! No, this is George III, the tyrant English king who loved to put taxes on tea and whatnot. Taxation without representation!

Wow, some things never change in this town.

Jefferson says, shake hands with a Founding Father!

FDR, looking uncomfortable.

Winston Churchill always looks so pissed off.
Maybe because he was forced out of office after WWII!
Oh right, you didn't come here for facts.
Sorry.

Mike relaxes with Julia Roberts.
She was thinner than my wrist, no joke.
(Seeing how thin these celebrities were was a little disconcerting.)

Gordon and J-Lo.

Bored and indifferent. Just like in real life!

Gordon refused to pose with Beyonce.
"They made her too thin."
Amazing.

"I'm not sure what four nines does,
but the ace, I think, is pretty high."

You're glib.
Also, I haven't aged well. Xenu?

All in all, it was a nice diversion, but it was just so... ridiculous. The labels were short and of little value, and once you bypassed the historical figures, the labels disappeared entirely. I think that this is Madonna. Not sure though!

I only got fooled once, by a figurine of an Asian tourist taking a photograph. It was hilarious, in a totally offensive kind of way. Nicely done, Madame Tussaud's! Stereotypes are fun for all ages!

And now you're thinking, "Jeez! Get off your high horse - it's not a museum!" You are correct, it's NOT a museum. It's a high-priced celebrity peep show. TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS. Would a family of four really drop $100 on twenty minutes of escapism? Lord, I hope not.

I'm thinking that the ones in London and NYC might be better. But definitely don't waste your time in D.C.

Instead, go to a museum! Like, I don't know... one of these, maybe. Free!

(All pictures from my all-inclusive tour can be found here. Save your money and click away.)