These aren't technically "overheards," because I didn't just happen upon them, but still. THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY.
(These don't include the countless calls I get each day from people who are lost in Ann Arbor, but have no idea of the name of the street on which they're driving, and expect me to figure it out and then stay on the phone and talk them into our parking lot.)
One woman called and embarked on a lengthy story about remodeling her house and how she found some paper currency and at first she thought that it was German but now she thinks that it is Confederate and do you think that the museum would want it because it's very historical and museums like historical objects. Which, ...okay. She said, "Everyone told me to call the museum, so here we are, talking." Sigh. Yeah! You sure called "the museum." The first one you found in the phone book, apparently. I directed her to The Henry Ford.
Later that VERY SAME DAY, a very nice, very polite southern lady called and... here's the conversation verbatim. It's better that way.
Southern Lady: "Yes, I'd like to donate a vibrator."
Heather: "Um, oh! You'd...?"
SL: "A vibrating exercise machine from the 1950s. I think that it belongs in a museum."
H: Pause. "Yes, ma'am, that sounds very nice. But we're a natural history museum,"
SL: "Right."
H: "We collect items relating to the natural world. Can I give you the contact information for The Henry Ford Museum?"
SL: "Isn't that you?"
H: "No."
Not that it's entirely strange - I used to get awesome calls when I worked at the Smithsonian, too. One woman called claiming to have an original copy of the Declaration of Independence. I suggested calling the National Archives and she said, "Well, they just transferred me to you!" Sigh. Of course they did.
And then there was this woman. She called with questions about our planetarium shows, and because the schedule differs on the weekends, I first asked when they were planning on coming, and was answered with a definitive, "Sunday." I rattled off the shows, including one entitled Origins of Life, explaining that it was about The Big Bang Theory. There was a pause. Then:
"We don't believe in the Big Bang." CLICK.
Oh really? Then why are you coming here on a Sunday? Shouldn't you be at home, sitting in the dark?
3 comments:
I think the real question to the last story is why they are going to a Natural History musuem. I mean, really, it is all science-y. I bet this was before the crazy museum about dinosaurs and people living happily together opened. Because you totally should have directed her call there.
I only read the first story from this thread, but it was enough.
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2916419&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1
The Disturbing and Epic Saga of the Kuykendall Collection
lem - I think that people see "history" and "museum" and choose to ignore the other bits. See what they want to see and all that jazz.
gabe - Seriously, that was amazing and I thank you for bringing it into my life. It was just... so accurate a description of what smaller-ish museums deal with on a daily basis and how frustrating it is when a museum accepts a gift with stipulations.
I am reading through his other stories, and they are hilarious, too. Just amazing.
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