EPIC FAIL

I wanted to make cupcakes. I wanted to make them for my friends at work because they're both having kind of rough lives lately and the recipe looked so enticing and I had even sent it to them both with words like, "Don't these look AWESOME? Don't you wish that someone would MAKE them?"

Mean! But I did make them. I made them Monday night.

And lo, it was bad.

I am a good cook, if I do say so myself. I can throw things together a la Sabrina, call it dinner, and no one would ever have to know that it was merely eggs and crackers because it would look and taste like a souffle!

(Okay, I'm not that good.)

Anyway, I also think that I am fairly adept when it comes to baking. I've made these on several occasions, to RAVE reviews (mostly from my dad, but whatever), and when I brought in chocolate chip cookies to work, they were gone in minutes!

This fed my ego.

I also tried out a recipe for slightly more interesting cookies, and they were a runaway success (again, thanks Dad).

So I saw this recipe and thought that it sounded fabulous. I picked up things that are not normally on my shopping list, like buttermilk (side note: buttermilk is weird), and got started.

As I was whipping the batter, I thought to myself, "Hmm. This batter seems a little too thick for cupcakes." Then I spied the two empty butter wrappers and realized that I had added too much. Two sticks instead of the prescribed one and a half.

If you're not a baker, you might think, "So what? That shouldn't make much of a difference." And, well, you would be wrong. I tried to ignore the facts and attempted to adjust the amounts of other ingredients just to eke out some sub par cupcakes and just chalk it up to experience, but I knew those cupcakes were fucking doomed.

And they were just awful. AW. FUL. FULL OF AW. The tops were hard and crystallized, the bottoms were barely cooked, and when I tried to remove one from its paper wrapper, the bottom fell off completely and jam dripped all over the counter.

My next plan is no bake cookies. Because I think I have less of a chance to ruin those.