Hero-less

Michigan drivers, what the fuck happened to you?

You used to be awesome. You used to go ninety mph on the freeway AS A RULE. You used to see two feet of snow and sneer, "Who cares? It's just snow," and plow through intersections in your '88 Camaro. You used to be my hero.

Not anymore.

Now, I feel like I am back in Virginia, forced to ride the brake because you're scared of the sunshine. Today, driving on I-94 back to Ann Arbor, I was passing every single car on the road. Yes, I was passing you all like I was some redneck driver dreaming of the Daytona 500. The speed limit is 70. Seventy.

And I? Was gliding by at 72 mph in the fast lane.

What happened? I mean, I know that it was raining, but we're not in Virginia. We're in Michigan, home of the automobile! Is the amazing economy getting you down? Are you depressed?

Snap out of it! We have a reputation to uphold! Boston drivers are mean, NYC drivers are, well, cabbies, and DC drivers are clueless. Michigan drivers are FAST.

You know you want to bury that gas pedal. DO IT.

Lord.