Monday, February 04, 2008

Halftime, or Wishing for Death

Like lots of Americans, I watched the 42nd Superbowl. Unlike lots of Americans, I'm assuming, I did not watch the wonderful Tom Petty at halftime. No, I was victim to someone else's choices (and I must make it clear that I am not speaking of my wonderful NORMAL boyfriend, who wanted to watch Tom Petty and listen to the halftime report. No, it was another party guest. Just so there are no misunderstandings here).

We were forced to watch the MLE championship on Spike TV. Do you want to know what "MLE" stands for? DO YOU?

Major. League. Eating.

It was awful. I wanted to die. Or vomit. Both, really.

The competitors, of whom many of the party guests were aware, started on hard boiled eggs. Who can eat the most in eight minutes? Who will dip them in hot sauce? How much water will they guzzle? How long can Heather keep her bile down?

Next? The competitors ate whole hams. WHOLE HAMS. At the conclusion of that... event, one guy had dipping sauce ON HIS FOREHEAD.

Also, people are starving in India. And Asia (ASIA). And our own fucking country. But thank GOD these disgusting people can eat five dozen eggs in eight minutes.

I seriously have nothing else to say on this. It basically blew my mind. If you want to feel your stomach churn, or if you want to call in sick from all of the vomiting (yours), watch the first video at the link above: MLE Championship.

Also, one of the announcers was named "Crazy Legs." So... there's that.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=1raUvGNbZFg

"Logic is for P*ssies"

Heather said...

"Love this game. Love the way the stones keep missing the zombies because they go in this nice arc that flies over them. Fantastic."

Anonymous said...

Ugh - meant to post that comment in the post below ... you know the Friday the 13th one. Long day

Heather said...

I know. :)

Anonymous said...

He actually has a couple other Nintendo reviews and some are pretty funny. Growing up with an NES myself and playing the same games, I know exactly what he is talking about. The Top Gun review is one of my favs as well as his Karate Kid one.

Heather said...

I played TMNT all the time, and it was a piece of crap. I saw that he did that review, so I think that I'll have to check it out.

My favorite game, though, was called "Tombs & Treasure." It scared the crap out of me, but it was AWESOME.