Friday, June 04, 2010


True story. My mom is insane.

I was waiting on the bus stop at 7 the other morning and I got the following text from my mother:

LADY: Good morning little rosebud! Have a happy day :)

(Backstory - Apparently my mom used to call me and my brother "rosebud," as we were precious flowers-to-be. She sure got that wrong.)

(Double backstory - I had no idea that she ever called us that.)

ME: Did you just call me a sleigh?

(First error - I meant to say "sled" as that would have aligned with what I first thought of when I read "rosebud," even though I have never seen Citizen Kane. What I didn't realize is that my mother did not make the connection, especially when she saw the word "sleigh." So this is when it starts to get... weird.)

LADY: Lolol! That said ROSEbud, not NOSEbud.

Um, what?

So at this point, I'm trying to make peace with the idea that my mother thinks that the sled in Citizen Kane was called NOSEbud, which is both absolutely hilarious and slightly frightening.

Completely unhinged, I responded:

ME: Well, I've never even seen the damn movie, so I have no idea what I'm talking about.

So I thought about this all day. I'm not kidding. I couldn't get it out of my head. I met Mike for dinner and told him the story, which led him to immediately text my mom and call her nosebud.

When we left the restaurant, I called my dad, because I knew that he would get a kick out of the story. He was already laughing as he picked up the phone. I told him the story with my mom protesting in the background, and we decided that my mom's brain connections probably went a little like this:

"Heather just said sleigh. But I called her rosebud... Hmmm... Sleigh... Santa... Reindeer... Rudolph the Red NOSEd Reindeer... Nosebud."

Does your mother's brain work this way? Because I am a little concerned.


So now Mike and I are calling each other nosebud at every opportunity. Recent example in text form:

ME: Hi love! How's my nosebud?
MIKE: Mostly nosey but kinda buddy.

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