Almost Caught Up

I have all these posts that I started and never finished and all I want to do is PLEASE YOU PEOPLE, because what else do I have to live for, anyway, and I am almost caught up, but there is still a good amount of editing to do, trust me. You wouldn't want me to post the following:

"And then I went to the grocery store and got the pretzels and ice cream."

When it could be something like this:

"On my way home, I stopped at the market for my latest addictions (besides the crack): creamsicles and butter snap pretzels, which, as it turns out, aren't actually all that bad for you. I can't say the same for the fucking creamsicles, though. Dammit."

You see? Flowery and descriptive plus swearing? Awesome.

So that's what this weekend is for! Writing reviews of several films and books that should have been written months ago, and reworking the insanity that my brain cooked up as I typed in a stream-of-consciousness kind of way. Well, the weekend is also for drinking by Mike's pool for two days straight while he golfs. If this is not the life, then tell me WHAT IS? I am asking you. You people.

BUT FIRST. I saw a sweet little bird on the side of the road when I was driving today*, so when I was stuck at a red light (for what seemed like eternity plus three days), I snapped a picture.

Hello, I am a KILLDEER.
My name suggests that I am a murderous bird of rage!
Except I'm not really.

*In full disclosure, I am posting this on June 24th, but backdating it to the 19th because I am insanely OCD like that, and things need to be IN ORDER or else I probably won't be able to sleep and such, and you wouldn't want that, now would you, internet friends?