I'm still annoyed about the Summer of Ringworm. I mean, how does that happen?
The bus was always the first place that came to mind when brainstorming places I could have picked up the nastiness, but until this morning, I was never completely positive.
And technically, I can't really be positive - not really - unless I was committed to inspecting people, and trust me, I don't want to do that, but I have an idea how it could have happened. Is what I'm saying.
The bus was full of the 7:30 a.m. regulars, including a few... irregulars. I had spied this guy before, and he always elicited the same silent response in my head, "EWWWW." Basically, if you picture the person who most probably left a sweaty ringworm mess on a public bus, and then glanced around, everyone would pick this guy.
And I took a picture.
I took a fucking picture and I am going to show it to you.
I mean, who the hell rides a bus like this? He does this EVERY DAY. If he's not playing a handheld game, he's sleeping. It's so weird.
Once, I almost choked laughing (because I'm an asshole) when he took the time to remove a something - wrapped in a velvet cloth - from his bag, unwrapped that which was within, and proceeded to inspect each and every Magic: The Gathering card in the deck before wrapping them all carefully in the velvet and placing them back in this backpack.
I'm sure he's a lovely person. But he's always draped over every possible plastic surface on the goddamn bus, and it's gross and I hate it.