Tuesday, April 20, 2010


My camera is broken.

My adorable, wonderful, beloved camera is broken and I don't know what I am going to do. I don't know that I can go on. I don't know that I will be able to survive.


So I got off the damn bus yesterday, and on the corner of my street is a house full of hippies who apparently love to carve shit out of stone. This includes a life-sized statue of a naked woman. Lounging. OH, AND IT'S ON THEIR PORCH.

We live one block from an elementary school. Now I realize that I sound like a prude, but won't someone think of the children? God.

Anyway, in addition to tasteful pornography, they do have lovely flowers. Flowers everywhere! So pretty! And you know that I can't resist the pretty.

So I took out my trusty *sniff* camera, shot a few close-ups, and noticed that the screen was not returning to the "view" mode. I flipped the switch back and forth a few times, turned the camera on and off a few times, and figured that it was just too bright outside. The sun, it was blinding.

I got home - and didn't have much time to fuck around as I was due at my boss's house for dinner in less than thirty minutes and I had to change my trousers because they were just too tight and I couldn't breathe very well (plus I'm sick), but then I realized that my pile o' clothes on the window seat was almost impenetrable and I didn't know if I would find the trousers I sought - and didn't check the camera.

I did find the trousers, however. I didn't want you to have to deal with a cliffhanger on top of all the camera drama. That would be unthoughtful.

When I got home later that evening, I wanted to download the lovely flower pictures that I took in front of the hippie house. The pictures downloaded without incident, but the screen of my camera? Done for. It just stopped working.

I remember when I bought my trusty little friend. He has lasted almost four years, which is pretty good for an inexpensive digital camera, right?

My MOTHER doesn't seem to understand the severity of the situation. After I texted her the devastating news this morning, she replied that I was going to have "shutter withdrawal." I think that she thinks she's funny, but she SO IS NOT.

So I replied that she had better enjoy the existing pictures of her granddaughters, since I wouldn't be able to take them any more as no one in my family seems to own a decent camera, and she FAKE GASPED.

Do you SEE what I have to deal with? NO ONE TAKES ME SERIOUSLY.

Anyway, if anyone has a used digital camera that they wouldn't mind unloading for a fair price, I am totally committed to taking it off your hands. I can't afford a new one right now, and when I passed a fat squirrel this morning (and he POSED for me on the sidewalk), I reached for the CAMERA THAT HAS CEASED TO BE and wanted to cry.



Megan said...

I have one. It's slow, but it works...

Heather said...

megan - For serious?

Waayers said...

As a fellow photography enthusiast, I feel your pain. If I had the money to buy a new fancy camera (which I've been wanting to do for a while), I'd give you my old one.

Megan said...

Dude, I will send it to you just so I don't have it laying around anymore. It's a Sony, 1gig card, battery recharger and all necessary cords. Don't feel obligated, but the offer is there.

Shane said...

You can have my old Sony - it is an amazing 3.2 MP! Actually, you might not want it - most cell cameras are better these days.

Heather said...

waayers - I want the new fancy digital SLR, too, but I have negative money at my availability.

shane - I remember that camera! It was huge!

megan - I would LOVE it. Are you sure? Do you want any money? Do you still have my address?

Shane said...

Huge to the point you dont want THAT sort of bulge in your pants. It looked like a tumor growing on the side of my leg.

On a camera note, I just bought myself a new one the other day: Panasonic DMC-TS1. I know, I know, I left Canon for the time being, but everything I read about this guy was awesome .... 4.6x optical zoom, good pic quality, so rugged you could DROP it, AND this little mofo is water-proof (to 10 feet underwater) AND dustproof.

It reminds me of my favorite Simpsons clip of Mr. Burns. "Actually Mr. Burns all of your diseases are in a delicate balance." "So you are saying I am indestructible?" "Actually, Mr. Burns, a slight breeze ... "INDESTRUCTIBLE!"

Heather said...

shane - "It's not a tumor."

That camera sounds awesome. I've actually been pretty good about not dropping my cameras, ever since my dad drove over my old camera with the minivan. Sigh.

That is one of my favorite Simpsons eps - the X-Files one, right? "I bring you love!" "It's bringing love! Don't let it get away!"