Thursday, April 08, 2010

It's So Very Loud Out There and I Want Chocolate

To start, someone brought in peanut butter Dove miniatures to work yesterday, and I love him/her for it. HAVE YOU TRIED THESE BECAUSE YOU MUST.

They are basically smaller, richer, higher-ender versions of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and I am not ashamed to admit that though the latter were once my precioussss, they've become too much for me to handle as of late.

Anyway, as I write this, I am at work. I know, I am a horrible employee, but you would be, too, if there was some famous author-type person (who happens to be a University alum, apparently) doing a reading in the auditorium in the museum, which happens to be right across the hall, and there are people on top of people out there.

Witness my plight:

GET AWAY FROM THE GLASS, HEATHENS!

It's loud and people keep banging up against the glass which results in giving me many mini heart attacks (yet another reason that having a glass office is the work of Lucifer), and so therefore I am thinking about chocolate. Everything seems to go all slow-motiony when I think about chocolate.

I never read The Polar Express as a child, because my parents loved me and we read quality shit instead (I have yet to read it). I mean, did you see the previews for that film? That was some intense eye-fuckery, let me tell you.

And no, I don't rather care if you think that I am dead inside, because I'm sure that I would think the same about you if I heard that you never read Where the Wild Things Are or Goodnight Moon, for fuck's sake.

This is creepy, I win, you lose.

"Smeagol will conquer the precioussss world ."

MAKE IT STOP.

2 comments:

Waayers said...

OMG I love Chris Van Allsburg! He actually wrote a lot of other great books besides The Polar Express (the movie was kind of lame though). My 4th grade teacher was obsessed with him. We read all his books and we even wrote him letters. He actually wrote back to us! We were so excited.

Heather said...

waayers - Yeah, my mom bitched at me for making fun of the situation. Telling me to "calm down and stop judging people." That's like telling me NOT TO BREATHE.