BLEH

Oh man. This morning so far? BLEH.

I woke up at 5:00 instead of 6:15, and couldn't get back to sleep.

My upstairs BITCH of a neighbor is secretly out to get me, I think, because she covertly fucks with the plumbing when I'm in the shower. "Sink on, sink off. Sink on, sink off. Sink on, SINK OFF!" And I'm all, "Warm, cold! Warm, COLD. Warm, I'M A GONNA CUT YOU, BITCH!"

Okay, so maybe she doesn't do it on purpose, but the timing is very bizarre. Also, she walks like an overweight elephant, vacuums at 1 a.m., and runs the dishwasher at midnight.

Hmmm, how else did my morning suck? I poked myself in the eye with the mascara wand! That was pretty.

My internet connection kept dropping, so I shut down my pretty laptop in disgust and had to shudder check the weather channel instead (I used to love the Weather Channel, until I got the laptop, that is. Instant gratification!). Which meant that I had to put on a robe. Which is obnoxious when all I want to do is prance around naked as long as possible.

Naked prancing!

The saving grace was my walk to work. I shunned the metro in exchange for a nice stroll down Independence Avenue. It was crisp, it was deliciously chilly... basically, it was an awesome start to the day. I had my light jacket and my scarf, a little pair of gloves, and I was set. I walked from my apartment on the hill to L'Enfant Plaza, and it was glorious.

I love this weather because I don't sweat through my clothes just by glancing at them. No more arm sweat, back sweat, crack sweat, or feet sweat.

Too much information?

Sorry. I'm small, but I sweat a lot. I can't do much about it but wear tank tops in the summer and preventative undershirts in the winter because even though the weirdos on "Doctor 90210" get Botox injected into their armpits to alleviate the sweating, the idea of a GIANT NEEDLE makes me light-headed.

(Hmmm, maybe if they knocked me out first...)

(And how ridiculous is Doctor Rey? His karate? Amazing.)

Of course, talk to me later when it's pissing down sleet, and I'm sure that I'll be singing a different tune.

So right, I walked my sweet ass to L'Enfant Plaza. Great. But then I got to work and things started to, well... suck more.

I am currently:

~ wearing my coat AND scarf.
~ wrapped, towel-like, in a blanket, from my waist to my feet.
~ considering putting on my gloves because I am having to stop work every few minutes to SIT ON THEM because of the utter freezing-ness.

It is SO COLD in here. I want to tape up the air vent, because it seems to be set to "arctic chill," rather than "toasty warm fireplace feel," but the building manager is a complete psycho and I know that she would flip out if she spotted it.

Not so bad, really. But IT GETS BETTER.

Feeling hungry, I headed to Au Bon Pain, and the dickweed in directly ahead of me took the VERY LAST cinnamon scone and I very much wanted to punch him in the neck. Also, is it too much to ask to make extras of the pumpkin spice muffins? I mean, everyone loves them, apparently, because they are always sold out, and I just want to try one once since everyone raves. But I guess NOT.

(Heh. My spell-checker did not approve of the word, "dickweed." It suggested instead: "dick weed," "duckweed," "dickered," or "chickweed." Chickweed?)

So I bought an almond croissant instead and upon the first bite, discovered a ton of sweet GOO in the middle. What the hell is that goopy stuff? Super gross, and no, thank you.

So that was a nice waste of $2.40.

But? It's already nooner. So I shall calm myself down and look forward to Thai Chili with Amanda later.