The Winter of My Discontent

When you're about to head out of your house and into your day, you go through a checklist in your head. Okay, maybe you don't, but I do. In the winter, my list is a little longer than usual.

Phone? (I forget mine ALL THE TIME.)

Wallet? (I... forget mine ALL THE TIME.)

Lunch? (I leave it on the counter more often than I'd like to admit.)

Umbrella?

Gloves?

Hat?

Keys?

Book?

iPod?

There are more items on this list at times, but the point I am trying to make is that even the best of us make mistakes. And when a person, say, oh, I don't know... sleeps in late and is scrambling to catch the last possible bus before having to succumb to a brisk two-mile walk or waiting for the next and rolling into work thirty minutes late, it makes sense that things are going to be forgotten.

And you know? When it's 7:03 in the morning, and the sidewalks aren't cleared of snow, and you're about to haul ass down the middle of the street to the bus stop to avoid falling on your ass, you're just not of sound mind to be expected to remember everything on that list.

And why are you late? Because of the jerk-ass snooze button.

WHY is there a snooze button? The evil snooze button of pure evil has left people like ME to our own devices, which means that we give in to our inherent laziness and return to half-sleep only to be rudely jarred awake minutes later. Why do we give in? Why do we hit snooze? We're just making it more difficult to get out of bed in the long run, and we're running the risk of constant tardiness. Constant! DAMMIT.

Of course, when it's snowing, you'd think that one would remember one's fucking hat, instead of leaving it at the top of the stairs, where one purposely left it the previous night, before clearly stepping OVER IT on one's mad rush to catch the bus.

What the hell, HEATHER?