Thursday, September 25, 2008

A.R. Awesome

The Lady teaches fifth grade. She has done this thankless job for years. (Seriously, teachers are some of the most under-appreciated, underpaid working people in the world)

Her fifth graders are lucky little bastards, let me tell you this right now. And not just because they have her as a teacher. They have this awesome, totally jealousy-inducing reading program: Accelerated Reader.

Basically, there is no standard reading curriculum. The kids read books that are rated according to reading level and then they take an online test. Higher-level readers are not held back and lower-level readers are given time to grow.

When I was in elementary school, I was reading ahead of my grade level. I would get to go to an upper-level class for reading each day, which was awesome, but also extremely intimidating. By the time I was in sixth grade, there was no where for me to go, so I had to slum it with kids my own age. Anyway, during one of these classroom-hopping excursions, I read the most amazing short story ever written:

"Hannah is a Palindrome." Palindrome. Isn't that the best fucking word you've ever heard? It's almost as awesome as onomatopoeia, which is awesome both in sound and in meaning.

Hannah's teacher makes an example of her by writing that exact line on the chalkboard. She then gets called down to the office and Hannah starts feeling the wrath of her mean jerk classmates. So she takes the initiative to look up "palindrome" in the dictionary, has a lightbulb moment, and puts the jerkiest boy, Otto, in his place by scrolling, "Otto is a palindrome" on the board.

HA. Suck it, Otto!

Finding palindromes became my new obsession, and I still do it to this day. I LOVE IT when words or even numbers are palindromes. IT MAKES ME HAPPY. If a car in front of me has a license plate that includes a palindrome, it makes my fucking day.

But seriously, why do I remember that story? I read it when I was in second grade. Also, I recall that the book was red. And it might have had a picture of treasure on the cover. Because reading is like discovering buried gold. Honestly. My memory scares me sometimes, especially when I am more than able to annoy my Mike by retelling the same story over and over and over again with absolutely no recollection of him finishing the damn story for me the last time.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

you're so right about the treasure chest!!!

Em said...

I remember that book! I remember the first time I read it. I still love Palindromes. Otto sucked.

Waayers said...

How's this for a palindrome: I went to school with a guy named Mike Kim. Doesn't that just blow your mind??

Heather said...

a - I knew that you'd remember about the treasure chest.

em - Otto did suck. What a tool.

waayers - That's just kind of cool. I love me some palindromes.

Anonymous said...

I saw a book at the library today that was called "Mom and Dad are Palindromes". Or something to that affect. I never knew there were kids books about palindromes. Also, "The Rails I Tote" is an awesome kids' book. Not a palindrome and I can't think of what letter switching is called, but it makes you think!

Heather said...

lem - That sounds awesome. Any kind of play on words is good in my book. Heh... book.