You notice that the escalator to the lower level is working just fine, and the commuters seem to be adhering to the simple "Stand to the Right, Walk to the Left" rule. The "up" escalator from the bottom level is broken, and as commuters are eager to reach their red line connector train, they are climbing up the temporary stairs side-by-side. You are in a hurry, so you:
A. descend the 'down' escalator on the left, easily catching your train, or
B. fling your metrosexual, over-gelled self down the broken escalator into upcoming commuters because you are VERY BUSY AND IMPORTANT and in doing so rudely shove The Donut into the Amazon woman in the Chewbacca-ish fur coat causing the Donut to cower in fear for her life because the Amazon woman has been snarling to herself since the platform at L'Enfant Plaza and just bared her teeth.
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Scenario Two, Red Line, Union Station to Gallery Place Chinatown:
You ride the metro every day. Every morning, you:
A. Brush your teeth, or
B. Do not brush your teeth.
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Scenario Three, Orange Line to Rosslyn, Evening Rush Hour:
You are quite tall and "hefty"and able to locate more than a few places to hold during the movement of the metro train, yet you think it acceptable to wrap yourself around the only accessible pole. Someone about, oh, I don't know... let's say, five feet tall, boards the train. She can't seem to find a suitable handhold. Do you:
A. Extricate yourself from the pole that you love and reach for a handhold on the ceiling, or
B. Scowl at her and move your body to cover as much of the pole as possible each time she attempts to steady herself.
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The answer to each scenario, my darlings, in case you weren't sure, is B. These people need to be severely bitch slapped. Hard. And I would have done it, too, if I wasn't so wee. Oh yeah, did I mention that all of these scenarios happened to me this week? Yes.
Alas, my wee-ness.
2 comments:
That last scenario often happens to me as well. My solution: I wrap my hand around the pole and prod the person's back with my nails or knuckles. That usually works.
I think the question is: Do you really want to hold on where someone is treating it like a stripper pole?
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