If You Don't Watch Her Show, You Might Not Understand 83% of This Post

So I was watching "The Barefoot Contessa" last night - I had DVRed about 30 episodes and needed to get into them or delete them.

So she was cooking dinner for a couple who had won a charity auction. Can you imagine? Dinner with Ina? It would most likely be the most awkward thing that I can fathom. Ina would show up in her best over-sized denim shirt and talk about the flower arrangements and how her husband travels all of the time and demands roast chicken every Friday night.

Note: The auction was to "preserve the Hamptons," or at least that's what Ina said.

But the whole time I was watching, I couldn't help but remember her most recent newsworthy item: A "Make a Wish" kid, dying of leukemia, wanted to cook with Ina as his wish. Awwwww!

Obviously, this raises some questions: Why not Giada? She's got the killer rack and the amazingly huge head - it would be like cooking with an x-rated bobblehead!

Compare that to Ina: When Mike was forwarding through the commercials, he hit play perfectly. "I didn't know to stop until I saw a person taking up the entire screen." Exactly, Mike. Exactly.

So this kid wants to cook with Ina? Easy-peasy right?

WELL INA DOESN'T HAVE TIME. She is SO busy. She has recipes to type and shows to tape and book signings to attend! She can't take an hour out of her day to cook with a DYING CHILD.

Oh my God. My dilemma is now, do I watch her show anymore? I mean, I probably will, but should I?

Anyway, foodnetworkhumor.com has a "Top 10 Reasons Ina Garten Rejected the "Make a Wish" Foundation Boy," and it's much funnier than anything I came up with. Because honestly, one needs good vanilla in one's pantry at all times.