Hey Verizon? I Have a Question For You

Verizon, please riddle me this: Why is it that almost every call I've received today has been from someone other than the caller ID announces? Why is that? Hmmm?

Mike called at lunch today and it wasn't him. I thought that maybe I was hearing his coworkers in the background, but they soon hung up on me. I was all, "Jerks!" He then called back wondering if I had heard someone else's call as he had.

Weird right? I mean, it happens once in a while, so no biggie.

BUT THEN.

So there I was, sitting on the couch, watching Ross try and give a paleontology lecture using an English accent, when old roommate Jenny called from California.

Me: "Hello friend!"
Not Jenny: "What?"
Me: Wondering why Jenny sounds like Big Worm from Friday: "Jen?"

Click.

Me: "WEIRD."

The phone rang again. Caller ID? JENNY.

Me: "...Hello?"
Not Jenny: "Jess?"
Me: "Jenny?"
Not Jenny: "Who is this?"
Me: "You called me!"
Not Jenny: "Is this Jess?"
Me: "No."
Not Jenny: "Oh. Wrong number, I guess."

Me: "WHAT. THE. HELL."

The phone rang again. Caller ID? JENNY. I let it go to voicemail.

Actual Jenny left a hilarious message about talking to some random dudes who were trying to flirt with her and all she wanted to do was to not talk to them and talk to me. And that she was worried that I was going to think that she was completely insane when I heard the message.

So basically, Verizon? You need to cut it out. Quit making me talk to weirdos disguised as Mike and Jenny. It's mean! Stop it!