I don't quite know how to say this nicely, so I'll just jump right in.
I fucking bought a fucking Snuggie.
Hurl your worst at me: hypocrite, imbecile, moronic American consumer, etc. I DESERVE IT.
Mike wanted one for his birthday (I won't even try to explain), and they were at BB&B for $14.99. I had a $5 off coupon, and voila! Piece of shit blanket with sleeves for ten bucks. And it came with a book light. A book light?
I've tried it out. The Snuggie is actually quite warm, but it leaves little blue fabric pills all over your clothes, which really pissed me off. But! I was able to:
-answer the phone
-change the television channel
-read a book
-search for online porn
-hold a baby
I totally hate myself, but it was too ridiculous to keep to myself.
And I will leave you with this, because it is funnier than anything I could ever say here.