Sunday, March 29, 2009

And Now I Suppose I'll Really Discover If I'm a "Glass is Half Empty" or a "Glass is Half Full" Kind of Girl

Sad news in Donutvilletown... shire. My temporary job (the one I left DC for)(that was really only supposed to last six months and has somehow turned into eighteen) is ending in May. This sucks shit, as I thought that I could ride it out for at least another season, but is probably for the best as I need something more challenging and less, as my director so lovingly put it, "beneath me." Thanks for that.

Fine. So I'll just get another job. I'm sure that accomplishing that will be super simple in this economy. And in this state.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

So I am currently stockpiling Coke cans for their ten cent deposits and rolling my own loose change instead of giving a percentage to Coinstar (that dick), spending as little as possible and eating even less, and trolling Craigslist for job "opportunities."

My, but there are some grand opportunities:

1. EXPERIENCED Crusher Operator. Operate and maintain portable crushing and screening plants. Applicants must have at least five years experience and be able to weld. Please do not apply if you do not have experience and you can not weld. (What if I'd do it in a bikini? Would you reconsider?)

2.We are currently looking for new process servers. Your payment is based on deliver of papers. Hours are flexible. THeir is no experience requirment. (There is apparently no spelling requirement either.)

3. Startup Seeks PHP/MySQL Guru: Front End Engineer skilled in XHTML, CSS, and Javascript seeks partner with strong server side skills. Seeking individual with strong PHP/MySQL skills; Should be comfortable with OOP; Should be familiar with Frameworks; Familiarity with Linux/Unix environments a plus. (I don't think that those are English words.)

4. Chuck Norris Doesn't Save the Environment... he impales those who harm it. Join the fight! Be an activist and get paid. You will receive valuable training (campaign, ninja*, and other).

* if you actually believe we provide ninja training as part of the campaign position, you have failed the first test; please do not call. (Haha, I am totally going to call.)

5. Girls Needed For Music Video. Looking for females ages 18-25 to be in music video. Funloving and outgoing, and be able to be comfortable on camera is all that is required. Please send pictures with contact info. No resumes please! Just a photo that you makes you stand out above the rest. (My mother will be so proud!)

So there are some fun options for me after all! I don't know why I was so worried.

So there's that. I know that it could be ten times worse - I do have credit card debt, but at least I don't have student loans. I'm not stuck in a lease, so if I have to go live in my parents' basement, I suppose I could. I have a wonderful support system in Mike and my family. And my director is circulating my resume amongst her museum and University networks.

But man, applying for jobs is so boring. I know that I have to put in the effort, but gah.

And while I'm not some crazy spendy moron in my current life, I did think of some ways to drastically impact my budget, regardless of how much they pain me:

1. Utilize my library card more often. I love books. I love them so much I want to take them behind the middle school and get them pregnant. But books are not cheap, and my current shelving availability is definitely finite. I hate that I won't be able to keep a book after reading it, but I'm sure that there is something to be said about sharing. Whatever.

2. Shop at thrift stores more often. I love clothes, too, even though I tend to stick to my basic tried-and-true stuff more than anything else. But spring is just around the corner, and if it's warm enough to wear a skirt, you can bet that I will sporting one with ballet flats. But again, clothes are not cheap and though my closet boasts a large number of skirts I've collected over the years, adding another $79 stunner from Banana is no longer an option. I have a work friend with great taste and adorable petiteness who swears by a thrift store in town. Worth a shot.

3. Stop wasting food, for crying out loud, what are you, an idiot? I am notorious (in my head) for spending good money on fresh produce and then letting half of it turn to mush. Produce ain't cheap, but it dominates my shopping cart because it tastes good and it's good for me. I try to eat as few packaged and processed food items as possible (though that can of Spaghettios last night was like manna from Heaven), so while produce isn't always cheap, I will definitely have to learn to better plan my meals before I hit up the farmer's market or grocery store. Additionally, I am planning on planting vegetable plants and herbs for the summer. We'll see how long it takes for me to kill those.

4. Figure out a way to get to work that does not result in spending $11 to park. I usually walk/bus to work for free (purple bus!), but my laziness knows no bounds lately. I've been pissing money away like fucking moron, just so that I can sleep in a few minutes longer. And you know? I'm not even sleeping for that "saved" time. No, I'm continually getting out of bed to hit snooze (because apparently I thought that placing my alarm clock out of arm's reach would solve this problem, but in fact makes it so much worse). That is not good, REM sleep!

5. Stop going to Target and Ikea to "just walk around." We all know that Target and Ikea are evil and force FORCE you to buy things. I must remove them from the equation, or I will be in trouble.

Any other ways I could be saving money? Besides collecting unemployment? Because I think that I might look into that. You know, just in cases.

6 comments:

RR said...

Hang in there! It took me three months to find a job, but it finally happened, and I start on Monday. Here's hoping it doesn't take you that long. :)

What I do at the grocery store (when I'm not too lazy) is write down the price of everything I put in my basked and add it up as I go along. When it's time to head to the checkout line, if I've exceeded my budget, something has to go back on the shelf. Sometimes this doesn't work because I actually need everything in the cart (thank you, expensive personal care products), but it certainly cuts down on the impulse buying.

The other thing I do is use a buy-and-replace rule. It might not work for you if your place isn't as small as mine, but my townhome is so small that there really isn't room for even one more thing. So if I buy something, I have to be willing to get rid of something else. Sometimes this rule doesn't really work (read: any trip to the bookstore), but sometimes it's very effective at cutting down on spending.

Also, my word verification is "woriese." As in, "No woriese, Heather! You'll find a job soon!"

mush said...

I am very sorry to hear that. I have no sage advise, however, just know that you WILL find another job, maybe not as soon as you'd like. Moving back to DC?
BTW is your sudden increase in the blogosphere related?

Heather said...

rr - Thank you so much for your kind words. I am freaked out but optimistic. And I will definitely shop with a calculator - that's a great idea.

mush - Thanks! I know that I'll find something eventually, too. I just have to actually put in the effort.

As for my recent updates, I just had a few posts ready to go (been working on them for a while), and I figured that I'd just get them out there. I haven't had that much time lately to proofread :)

lem said...

I vote for #4. Ninja skills could come in handy. I think they were just try to throw people off by saying they didn't teach that.

Good-luck with your job hunt!

Unknown said...

I love that you're too old to be in the music video. I would totally hand my clothes down to you, except that two of you could fit into my inseam.

Ooh, that sounded dirty!

I'll let Taylor know you need a pep talk! :)

Heather said...

lem - I agree. They are totally sneaky... as NINJAS ARE.

k-10 - OMG, Taylor. Yeah, I can just imagine me ripping her face off, too.