Monday, October 06, 2008

Flames, Flames! On the Side of My Face... (but actually just flames everywhere)

My doctor diagnosed me with migraines back in July, and in addition to giving me a lovely prescription, he ordered an MRI.

Which I did not get, mostly because I was terrified of what they would find. I just wanted to pretend that my headaches were related to hormones and/or stress and be done with it.

Then... last week. Of the seven days of last week, I had migraines for oh, five of them. The pain was intense. It was burning, throbbing, intense pain, and I couldn't do anything to make it stop. The other two days gave me mild, annoying, we're-here-to-ruin-your-day headaches, but at least I didn't feel like I was going to die. (I'll tell you who tempted fate, though - the douche with the jackhammer outside of my office who apparently had orders to jackhammer himself to CHINA. It was nonstop except for a few brief, teasing moments where he'd take a breath and I would get my hopes up and sigh in relief and try to recover from the onslaught of ear-splitting SOUND, and then it would start again. This went on for two hours. I was ready to go throw bricks at him. But man, even with safety earmuffs, if it was that bad for me, it must have sucked for him.)

Right, so that week was complete and utter hell, with my head threatening to explode at any second, and so (with urging from my honey, mostly) I called and made the dreaded appointment. I ordered me up a Magnetic Resonance Imaging test.

I was in and out of the hospital in under and hour, which is simply amazing considering my hospital track record. I was this close to fainting when they inserted the IV, but I held on. That clammy, cold feeling is just too fun to miss out on! Plus, apparently you can't faint if you're already laying down? I don't know. I took the nice lady's word for it.

I thought that I had MRIs before, but now I am convinced that they were all just different forms of CT Scans. The MRI machine was LOUD. The technician gave me war plugs, and I almost scoffed - it couldn't be that loud! But holy Christ, that first noise almost sent me through the roof. Good thing I was strapped in there like a mental patient, or I would have jumped and ruined the whole thing.

Twenty minutes later - with a break to cover me with a blanket - it was over.

Do you want to see my brain? Do you?


My forehead is eternally huge, even here.

They sent me home with a disc of the images and although I have absolutely no idea what I'm looking at, I think that it is pretty damn cool. I'm still a little on edge, because the results are on their way to my doctor as we speak, and I don't know what he's going to find. But I think that knowing is better than being completely ignorant to the situation.

And knowing also gives me the chance to show you all my crazy Roger Rabbit eyes:

This one isn't so bad...



Sarah said...

DUDE - that is freaking sweet. Lookit your BRAIN! Too cool. :)

Em said...

Awesome pictures!!!

Mush said...

it's always better to know, miss big brain. and what lovely brains at that!

Em said...

I didn't read your title until today... and got a good laugh. And I have to ask... is that your brains.. or Monkey's brains... because you know that Monkey's brains, though popular in Cantonese cuisine, is not often to be found in WASHINGTON DC. :)

RR said...

Excellent quote usage, I must say.

And--although I don't like to laugh because we don't know yet what's ailing you--I couldn't help but laugh at the last picture. But I wouldn't have laughed if you hadn't made a comment about Roger Rabbit eyes first! So I blame you.

Deals On Wheels said...

I was diagnosed with both stress induced (I see auras!) AND allergy induced migraines a couple of years ago. And, yes, they are different. I also seem to get the just-for-the-hell-of-it migraine, which is a tad annoying. I blame the fact that I live in Texas. Except for when I started getting them in grad school. Then, I just blamed GW.

My doctor also ordered up the MRI, but I didn't go. Had I known I might have received super-cool brain/eye pictures, though, I might have reconsidered. Maybe.

Heather said...

sarah - Had I known that I was going to get a CD of the images, I would have gone months ago!

em - It's a red herring.

mush - Thank you, you're right. I also agree that brains can be lovely!

rr - I knew you'd appreciate the reference. But yeah - I think that these images are as hysterical as they are interesting. It's always okay to laugh!

deals - Auras? Yikes. I would have blamed GW, too. Because, well... look at GW. It sucks.