Perturbed

See, here's the thing, Alcon:



I understand that you need to make sure that the saline solution is at the correct salinity levels and parts per million or whatever the hell your scientists decree.

But do the packaging needs differ THAT MUCH that you need to charge almost the same exact price for a 1/3 ounce bottle of saline drops as you do for a ten ounce bottle? Of the same exact solution? And don't say, "Hey, the store sets the prices! Don't blame us!" LIARS. Target actually has the best prices around, so don't feed me that crap. (Though I suppose I should be happy that my saline has never given me eye fungus.)

I wouldn't care that much except that apparently, all of a sudden!, I have dry eyes. And I'm back in my glasses. Which... don't seem to be working for me any longer.

Let me start at the beginning!

My contacts have scratched and scarred my corneas (awesome!) and my ophthalmologist and cornea specialist are pretty sure that my eyes have developed an allergy to the plastic in the contact lenses themselves (which, ALSO AWESOME!), and I am to wear them on a verrrry limited basis. Except when I do, dry eye syndrome says, "Hey! Give me drops! Ex! pen! sive! rewetting drrrrrrrrrops! NOW! NOW! NOW!" And this happens every thirteen minutes or so.

So I'm not exactly able to save that little 1/3 ounce bottle for more than a few days, really.

AND! The longer that I wear my contacts, my vision drastically reduces. So there's that.

But let me tell you about my glasses, since you asked.

So when you have contact lenses, you generally also have glasses on hand for those lazy Sundays, days of pinkeye, or days when you just don't care and maybe you won't brush your hair either! Because the lenses in your glasses are farther away from your eyes, they are usually a slightly higher prescription. (In my case, my contacts are -7.00 in my right eye and -6.50 in my left eye, while the lenses in my glasses are -7.25 and -6.75, respectively.)

SO TELL ME SOMETHING, PLEASE.

Why is it that wearing my glasses right now does absolutely nothing for me? I can't see near. I can't see far. I would not like them in a car. I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them Sam I Am.

Seriously though, when wearing my glasses, I cannot drive. I cannot read. I cannot see the computer screen at all. I'm wearing them right now, squinting and half of an inch away from the screen, but I am pretty much relying on spellcheck for this one and hoping that I haven't forgotten to type the "L" in public or something, as spellcheck thinks, "Oooh, legitimate word! Hilarious, embarrassing typo, but completely legitimate!"

It's like I am both nearsighted and farsighted all of a sudden and perhaps I need bifocals?

They told me to hang in there and see if the STEROID DROPS and antibiotic pills work. Until then, I can't really do much. Unless you want to pick me up first.