Frugality

Like any frugally-raised woman, I just love telling people when I get a good deal. And you know? Even if I wanted to hold my tongue, I don't know that it would be possible. If you're like me, you just want everyone to know that you are a savvy shopper, and you want them to get the same deal.

Here are things that you might hear from such a woman:

"Thanks, it was marked down 75 percent!"

"I know, and it was only A DOLLAR! Go to the mall now!"

"It doesn't fit exactly, and I'm not crazy about the color, but it was practically free!"

It's true.

I hit up Pentagon City this weekend, mainly because I had already metroed my ass all the way to Old Town from Capitol Hill for the sole purpose of getting myself a Turkey Tom sub from Jimmy John's.

Yes, I did. And it was SO worth it.

On the way back up the yellow line, I decided that some retail therapy was in good order, and alighted at the mall. It wasn't too crowded, surprisingly, for a Saturday afternoon, so I immediately high-tailed it to The Limited.

I adore The Limited. It is one of only two shops in which I can enter (the other being Esprit), spot an item I admire, and immediately make a purchase without the hassle of navigating the dreaded changing room. I know my size in anything at The Limited, and it is such a relief to be able to bypass that time-wasting step.

Most of the time, I am an absolutely awful shopper. I am that rare woman who doesn't actually love to shop. It's a chore to me. I enter the mall with an agenda, I hate to deviate from that plan, and I will avoid trying something on AT ALL COSTS. I hate slow walkers, window shoppers, and indecisive shopping partners: "I don't know... is it worth it?"

You do NOT want to ask me this question. I am the world's BEST enabler. I don't care if you just told me that you have a negative balance in your checking account -- if you show even the slightest amount of adoration toward a sweater or pair of shoes, I will do anything in my power to make sure you leave the store with that item in hand. I don't do this to be mean, I just think that people should have nice, pretty things. Especially women. We deserve many nice, pretty things.

Right, so, The Limited. The other weekend, I was in Michigan, and found myself at a very lovely mall. I also found myself coveting a gorgeous, white, strapless dress at The Limited. Sadly, the price tag was much too steep for my tastes, and I regrettably left it behind.

Long story short, I bought that dress on Saturday. For $23.99. DAMN STRAIGHT.

Feeling brave, and a little high after my SHOPPING COUP, my next step was a big one: Forever 21.

K-10 and I lovingly named it Forever Slutty, because there is no way in hell that a twenty six-year-old like me should be shopping there, but sometimes you can find some amazing, understated pieces (of course, this is only if you can get past the fact that their low prices are sometimes attributed to fabrics of mediocre quality and possible sweatshop construction. Well you know what? I make a chimp's wages, so I OVERLOOK IT. We can't all be shopping at BCBG, DAMMIT. (Oh BCBG, how I love you...)). It does carry the T.J.Maxx stigma, however - you have to dig to find something even remotely attractive. I usually avoid this place like the freaking plague, but I had a good feeling.

The retail gods must have been smiling down my way, because I found two dresses, both in my size (though I did try them on - you just cannot take that risk at Forever Slutty. Not with their return policy, anyway), and both nowhere near inappropriate.

One of the dresses - a pretty, summery, flirty little number - didn't have a price tag. After a few minutes, the assistant manager gave up and charged me $15.

I went home, tried on all of my lovely dresses, and spun around in circles like a princess. And then I had some wine.

It was GLORIOUS.