Vitamins and Minerals

Hi, I'm Heather. Sometimes I do stupid things which result in nausea and vomiting. Sometimes these things involve alcohol. Sometimes they do not.

Sometimes I get all full of shit and decide that I need vitamins like RIGHT NOW I NEED VITAMINS OR I MIGHT FALL AND BREAK ALL OF MY BONES AND DIE.

So I bought these last night:


Trader Joe is a funny dude. The tortilla chips are dubbed "Trader Jose's," the pasta is "Trader Giotto's," and the Pad Thai is "Trader Ming's."

Dietary Supplements and things that are supposed to be all-around good for you? Trader Darwin.

Heh.

I do not have any sort of fairy dust luck with women's vitamins. One-A-Day brand? I left work early that day due to THE VOMITING.

These pills? Are the size of horse tranquilizers and look like concentrated fertilizer. Very green. We shall not even discuss the odor.

OH. And gentle on the stomach? My ass. I took one five minutes ago - WITH FOOD - and am already nauseous.

Perhaps I am not meant to take vitamins. Perhaps I am meant to get osteoporosis at age 28 since I hate dairy and you cannot make me like it, GOD.

I will just drink this and everything will be taken care of for me. Right? It has vitamins and minerals. So it's like the same thing. Right?