Red carpet on E!
Salma Hayek is, as usual, showing off her golden globes. (Credit to Amanda for that one – she made me snort).
Oh good LORD, Angelina Von-Holier-Than-Thou Jolie makes me ill. And Brad wants to adopt/have enough children to have a soccer team and then send them to the World Cup? Sure, that makes sense. Great joke.
Evangeline Lilly's dress is a horrible homage to the 80s. The baaaad 80s. She looks HOTT, but still...
Kate Winslet is fantastic.
Steve Carell says he's a machine? Well, when the machines take over, that’s fine by me, as long as he's a Michael Scott robot.
Sharon Stone looks like a mother effing vampire. Seriously, nice furry cape.
I abhor the texts at the bottom of the screen – "OMG I love Scrubs I hope it wins!" Yeah, me too, EVEN THOUGH IT’S NOT NOMINATED.
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, Beyonce. We get it. You’re a hot piece of ace. Now put those away - that dress makes them look fake.
Who's the scary bleached-blond presenter with a higher voice than Debbie Matenopoulos? I didn’t know men’s voices could get that high without castration.
Oh, the text messages: "I want to see me some Brad Pitt!!!! And it would be awesome if I could get a shout out!!!!" Shut up.
NBC - The actual show
Jennifer Hudson is adorable, and the cut to Beyonce is great. She’s such an actress. Nice tears, B. We all know that you hate each other!
How much would I pay for JT to bust out with "Dick in a Box" right now?
Oh, props to JT for making fun of Prince.
Jeremy Irons is a brave soul for kissing Jack's daughter.
Tina Fey, NO! Baaaaaad dress.
Kevin Bacon is so damn cute. He's had me since Footloose.
Nancy Hart looooves that self tanner.
Ooh, there's Heidi Glockenspiel! I mean, Klum. Is she pregnant again yet?
Oh, who the hell cares about Donald Trump. Why is he there?
Will Ferrell, rockin' the fro.
Bill Nighy! "I feel it in my fingers…"
Hugh Laurie – ah, British comedy. I mean, I thought his speech was funny, but I was the only one here laughing.
Meryl Streep for the win! Suck it, Beyonce!
Reese Witherspoon looks absolutely beautiful! LOVE HER. Suck it, Ryan!
Salma Hayek is choking on those things… She really deserves an award for them.
Renee Zellweger always looks like she is plotting something. And would it kill her to smile?
Oh holy hell. This goes to
Sarah Jessica Parker needs work. Someone give her a movie that isn't total crap. Did anyone even see that one with Matthew McConaughey?
Cameron Diaz’s dress is basically the ugliest thing on stage thus far. She looks like a cake. Plus, she's a freaking muppet. A muppet cake. A crazy muppet cake.
It looks like I may have to go see The Queen, as it is nominated like crazy. Ah, and here's the political commentary for the night. Shut up.
Vanessa Williams' weave needs its own spotlight.
Geena Davis isn't fat, she's big boned!
Oops, I dozed off for a while.
Ugly Betty. Hmmm. I don't know, but the best comedy and now best actress? Wow, America Ferrera has the whole audience crying.
Tom Hanks loves saying "balls." Balls, balls, balls.
Okay, I just wanted to see the clips from Reds. And they picked shitty ones, so peace out, suckas!
2 comments:
"Suck It, Beyonce" you say? You better hope I don't hide out in your office and slit your motherf***ing throat. No one puts Beyonce in a corner. No one.
Hmmmm. I was afraid that you would react this way, Steeze. And I gotta say... you've disappointed me, you crazy beeyotch. Not nearly as scary as I thought you'd be. Props on the Dirty Dancing reference though. Nicely done.
(I'm lying. I'm totally scared of Steezy - they build 'em tough down there in the Lone Star State. She'd cut me in an instant, no joke.)
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