Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Traffic Circles. If You're Scared of Them, Then GO A DIFFERENT WAY OH MY GOD

THIS IS NOT BRAIN SURGERY.

Do you want to know who is good at traffic circles? ME. Do you want to know who is not good at traffic circles? EVERYONE ELSE.

Oh my GOD, people. They are NOT DIFFICULT. There are yield signs. If you are approaching the circle of horror, glance to your left. Is there a car there? Is there a car about to be there? If not, PROCEED. It's not a goddamn four-way stop and it's not something placed on this earth to specifically stress you out.

God.

I can't tell you how many times in the last week alone that I have almost gotten into various accidents because of these fucking traffic circles. Actually, no. The traffic circles are not to blame. The traffic circles are lovely and work quite well. In theory. The idiotic drivers who seize up in terror at the mere mention of traffic circles are to blame.

My commute is really not that bad. In the morning, I take the expressway and my entire drive is less than twenty minutes. I spend almost as much time locating a parking spot. In the afternoon, the fastest, most direct route - IN THEORY - are the back roads.

And when I take that way home, there are FOUR traffic circles. That means that other drivers give me a minimum of FOUR mini heart attacks in a twenty minute time frame.

My favorite part is when I am about to approach a circle of death. There is a super helpful sign that reads "Traffic Circle Ahead." INEVITABLY, each and every driver hits the brakes as if anticipating all of their simultaneous heart attacks.

Now this?

Is one scary-ass traffic circle. The traffic circles that I encounter daily, however? Look like this:

But with more bunnies and deer and flowers and happiness.

GAH.

4 comments:

lem said...

I love traffic circles!

Heather said...

lem - I actually love them, too. You know, as long as I am the only one in them.

Lindsay Lovstrom said...

I ALSO love traffic circles! Why are more people not capable of using them?

Heather said...

Lindsay - I have NO idea! I almost hit a woman yesterday because she hit the brakes as she was halfway into the circle. MORON.