The Trunk of MOLD

Once upon a time there were two lovely canvas bags from Trader Joe's. These bags were unlike other bags from Trader Joe's of our most recent time, as they were canvas, had sweet handles, and are no longer sold. They were basically irreplaceable.

Basically.

There was a wee little girl who owned the bags. Even though she was against showing favoritism, she definitely preferred the bag with the longer handles. It could be carried on her shoulder! It was truly a product of masterful design. When the little girl lived and worked in the nation's capital, she spent Saturday mornings strolling about Eastern Market with her beloved bag, picking up produce and crafts along her journey.

The little girl moved away, but still adored her Trader Joe's bags. She used them for many tasks and outings, as they were very adept at carrying things. Her favorite place to take them, however? Trader Joe's. The employees would marvel, "Wow, they don't even make these anymore." To which the little girl would reply, "I KNOW!"

Yes, she loved those bags. Until her stupid ass left her favorite long-handled tote in the trunk of her car.

Weeks later, unable to locate and identify the source of a strange death smell, her very pretty, very wise sister-in-law solved the case.

Moldy Canvas Bag in Trunk = Smelly Car of Death

At some point in her travels, the little girl purchased something that made the canvas bag damp and sad. And then promptly left it in the trunk - a dark and inviting place for happy, growing mold spores.

She was forced to throw the bag into the trash. And all is sad in the land.