Each work night, I set my alarm for six, thinking to myself (or perhaps uttering aloud, because I am sometimes of the crazypants variety):
"I am going to get up and get ready and catch the 7:06 bus. Then I'll walk to my favorite coffeehouse, get a mocha, and take a nice, leisurely walk to work. Unless the barista takes forever with my order as it's 7:15 in the morning, and s/he was most likely out until last call and then had to open the place at six, in which case I shall walk the few blocks back to the transit center and catch my usual connecting bus to the medical school."
It's such a grand idea. Really, it is. And of course, it's only happened once. And that time, I didn't even get coffee. Where do I go wrong?
It doesn't matter what time I get into bed, you see, because I will inevitably watch my Arrested Development or Friends DVDs for some time while speeding through a collection of Sudoku or crossword puzzles.
"Hello. I am like crack."Once my eyes start to droop, I set the television to snooze and attempt to get some sleep. And that's just about the time that the crazy ass squirrels on my roof start chasing each other back and forth over and over and over again, stopping to scratch at the shingles (and as Neighbor Bob explained to me, get into the attic space and start chewing the shit out of everything).
So after standing on my bed and slamming my pillow against the ceiling to scare them, I eventually get comfortable again and apparently fall asleep.
Ahhhhhh...... sleep. REM and nightmares and dreamscapes and whatnot........
"That's me in the spot. light."I have nice dreams about walking in the woods and seeing birds and chipmunks AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN my alarm jolts me awake at six. I crawl out of bed, struggle to keep my balance, and hit snooze. I climb back into bed and pretend that nothing happened. Five minutes later, the alarm blasts me awake. And I hit snooze. Again.
This happens several times. More times than I would like to admit. Actually, I might as well just set the alarm for seven. Which is just awesome, considering that I have to be to work by eight.
(Though I have gotten quite good at getting ready in a hurry. I can shower and do all kinds of getting-ready activities and be out the door in thirty minutes to catch the ringworm bus. Impressive, yes?)
I guess I don't actually have an excuse other than I just really, really like my bed. It's super soft and comfortable, and my duvet makes crinkly noises that make me feel all princess-y.
And wouldn't you want to stay in that world a little longer?
5 comments:
how about 6:30? would that help you avoid the RINGWORM bus? EWW EWWWWWW
em - Yes, I tried that this morning. I still hit snooze until 7. I think that this is going to be an on-going experiment.
Wow. It's like you were writing this about me! I just a moment ago made one tiny concession to reality and set my alarm for 6:15 instead of 6. Not that it's at all likely that I'll get up then. But I refuse to set it later than that, because I will not admit that be getting up on time.
Did Neighbor Bob actually say that the squirrels will "start chewing the shit out of everything"? Because that's pretty cool if he used those words.
jlr - My 6:30 plan did not work yesterday, but then today? I woke up at 6:20 BEFORE my alarm, and GOT UP. Insanity.
lem - HE DID. He's this awesome former hippy (although, hippy once, hippy forever, I think - hell, you've seen the houses on my street!) who owns a futon store. I love him.
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