Snow? Please, no.

The level of incompetence in this area increases tenfold when something is falling from the sky. This weekend, it's snow. And I am anticipating a crisis of ginormous proportion.

It snowed Wednesday, you see. 1 inch. Schools closed a few hours early, the metro had massive delays, and I heard sirens about every 40 seconds en route to car accidents.

1 inch of snow.

This weekend, 4-6 inches has been predicted, and I am willing to bet that they treat it like a sign of the apocalypse because THEY CANNOT DEAL WITH PRECIPITATION OF ANY KIND. It rains, they freak out and refuse to drive faster than the idling speed of their respective BMWs and, on the other end of the spectrum, Chevy Novas. And it's not just rain and snow - excessive sunshine yields the same results. I love speeding by them in the 'Scort while sporting the Michigan license plate and imagining them thinking, "Wow. She's crazy - going the speed limit is SO dangerous when it's sunny."

One of the funniest things to me is the school cancellation policy. I think it must say something like, "If there is a 5% chance of snow in the area, cancel all schools the night before." These kids are then in school practically all summer trying to make up all the Snow Days. Hell, when I was in K-12, the ONLY way we got a Snow Day was if the wind chill dipped into the negatives. Feet and feet of snow just gave us something else on which to do donuts.

So I might be snowed in this weekend. Not because I'm scared to drive in snow, but because I'm scared to drive in snow with all of these fucks on the road with me. Better stock up on beer.