I Just Realized that I Don't Have a Star for My Tree

"You were supposed to get a good tree.
Can't you even tell a good tree from a poor tree?"

I put my tree up at Mike's again this year, since I spend half my time (or more) there anyway. There's something both therapeutic and deeply irritating about putting up the Christmas tree. For me, it's putting the fucking thing together. Decorating is fun, but splaying the fake branches is pretty much the worst.

Even though my tree is a cheap-ass thing that my former roommate purchased in a Virginia Walmart (oh, the horror) for $12, it's over five years old and only barely falling apart. It only needs two strands of lights - any more and I think that it might be a fire hazard. It was made in China, after all, which leaves my hands so dirty at the conclusion that I'm forced to wash my hands several times before touching anything else.

But I've learned several things from this tree when setting it up over the years:

1. Drink lots of beer

Okay, so I learned one thing. But still, it's a good point. Beer helps. Merry Christmas!