Phase 1: Kill a deer or have someone kill a deer for you
Phase 2: ...
Phase 3: Profit
But really, I am lucky to have a friend in Tim the Hunter (ooh, like Orion!), who also happens to be married to my darling Emily. When I was leaving their house after a fun weekend in Holland, they opened up the freezer and filled a bag of fun for me (for Mike, really). I drove home with a menagerie of frozen animals in the back seat. Well, I think just elk and deer, but still.
I made the venison steaks for Mike the other night. I took pictures of the meal, but honestly? I don't want to share them. They don't make the venison look very good, and it tasted good, but I still don't want you people judging me. Plus, the homemade mashed potatoes with roasted garlic were a fucking disaster because I wasn't paying attention and completely over-boiled them.
(Have you ever roasted a head of garlic? DELICIOUS.)
But still - that was my first foray into the cuisine of the forest, and my first taste of game. It was good!
Also, a bonus:
BF: Will you make me some more venison?
Me: Well, honey, we're out of venison. How about some elk?
BF: Venison. Go get me a buck.
Me: Are bucks better?
BF: Lesbian deer are better.
Me: Of course they are.