On Saturday morning, I drove to David's Bridal in Westland, Michigan, to pick up the dress I am to wear in my friend Kelly's wedding. It's quite pretty:
"Hi! I'm dress F11165 in wine.I enjoy slow dancing under the stars and drinking merlot.
Lots and lots of merlot."
The very next day, I was summoned to the David's Bridal in Taylor, Michigan, to try on dresses for my brother's October wedding. Kari, Steven's fiance, had originally chosen this dress, and I was ecstatic:
"Hi, I'm the only dress in the entire store that is worth a damn.I am pretty and flowy and ethereal.
I make the lucky wearer feel like a Greek goddess.
I also hide all manner of imperfections.
WORSHIP ME."
But as her wedding dress has a red satin sash, the red chiffon didn't match EXACTLY, and so she decided on satin maid's dresses instead. Which one did she choose? THAT'S RIGHT:
I've got to hand it to the marketing department at David's Bridal. They've made the brides of southern Michigan assume that David's is the only bridal boutique in the entire state, and so therefore I am now wearing the same goddamned dress in each wedding.
I just keep chanting, "It's not my wedding, it's not my wedding, it's not my wedding..."
(I know that I sound like an ungrateful bitch, and I am sorry for that. But COME ON.)
4 comments:
That's really unfortunate. Also, when I saw that first picture, I thought it was Charlotte from Sex and the City.
What I hate most about David's Bridal is that they don't actually use an apostrophe in the name...it's a HEART that ACTS as an apostrophe.
David HEART s Bridal
Unacceptable on so many levels.
waayers - Except that Charlotte would never be caught dead in something off the rack.
k-10 - You are RIGHT. It is awful!
I thought the same thing, but knew it couldn't possibly be her and it must be an evil twin.
Post a Comment