Sketch Bomb

Right. So our living room is totally cute. I love those paintings SO MUCH. They make me happy :)

So we've been trying to find a roommate for the minuscule third bedroom in our fantabulous rowhouse. It's been interesting. Any girl who came to visit wasn't interested because, let's face it, it's a freakin' 8 x 8 foot jail cell with no closet. But we didn't want to live with a girl anyway because we are basically drama-free, and we aren't about to voluntarily invite in some new ridiculousness.

Luckily for us, the majority of the respondents were guys. Most were dismissed (in our minds) the minute they walked in the door - there was the "I just left my girlfriend whom I've been living with for two years" guy, the "I don't have much, but is there room for my rice cooker?" guy, the "my ex-girlfriend lives two doors down so there might be issues" guy, and the "I heart Karl Marx" guy. Seriously. But the BEST - and most worrisome, honestly - was Kristopher.

Kristopher (whose last name, incidentally, also begins with a "K." What parent would do that?) just showed up without warning this past Sunday, when I was fighting the upper respiratory crap by napping - unshowered - on the couch, and Awesome Roommate was at work. He just showed right up. In his defense, I hadn't gotten back to him, but in my defense, I hadn't invited him. So he's 23, from Oregon, and has been staying in a hostel way up in the ghetto. I explained the situation, showed him around, and asked him to come back Monday to meet Awesome Roommate.

Monday. He's back. Awesome Roommate catches my eye after 30 seconds to let me know that she's creeped out. "So I work for Save America's Forests. I'm here trying to save trees in my hometown." Great, good for you, we say. Silence. He stares at Awesome Roommate. "Does that offend you?" I thought she was going to laugh in his face, "Yeah it offends me! I work at the zoo where all we do is protect endangered animals and encourage awareness. Of course I'm offended. I hate trees! I wish loggers would cut them all down! Who needs trees?" Instead, she says, "No, I think that's great." Silence. He turns to me. "Does that offend you?"

I swear.

So then we go back to the living room, and we explain that we've technically offered the room to someone already, but we'll get back to him. "When?" Well, tomorrow, we suppose. "What time tomorrow?"

What?

He is seriously trying our patience at this point, and we just want him out of the house. We tell him that we'll call around 8. He leaves. We laugh.

Fast forward to Tuesday. Awesome Roommate and I went to Union Station and waited in line for free ice cream at Ben & Jerry's (oh, the tourists!), had dinner at some restaurant, shopped around, and headed home. We're walking up to the back of the house, and there's Kristopher walking down our back steps. What? We slow down and look at the ground as we walk, hoping he won't see us.

"Hey, good timing!"

DAMMIT.

Why is he here? We told him that we'd call him. At an EXACT time. "Oh, well, I lost your number." Like HELL. So we bring him in, explain that we are waiting on that other person. I check my email. Other guy hasn't responded, but I knew we had to get this creepo out of the house, so I tell him that other guy has accepted, and I'm sorry, but we did offer it to other guy first (and never technically offered it to Kristopher, for that matter), so good luck in your search and we'll let you know if it doesn't work out!

"Yeah, well you have my number." He throws his backpack on his back, and bumps into Awesome Roommate as she holds the door open for him.

Should we be scared of this quasi-psycho treehugger freak? Because we are.


In unrelated news, I got a new bra while shopping today. It is a racerback, won't fall off my shoulders, and is AWESOME. Just so you know.