Ypsighetto - Where the Best Roommates Abound

After talking to Tonks for an hour today, I've decided that I am no longer allowed to complain about my roommates. Ever. Unless, of course, their antics are worse than those of her old roommate - which I doubt would ever be possible. I will share some of these stories with you now. I swear to you, I am not making these up. If you knew Davis at all (and his friends - the Dyer brothers, little Freeman, etc.), you understand.

So Tonks lived with this guy Davis, a friend of ours from high school, for three years while at Eastern Michigan University in Ypsilanti (known from now on as "Ypsighetto"). Davis was, in a word, rambunctious. Davis always had people over, day and night. They would crash through the front door after a nice Sunday night at the bar and wake up Tonks - who always seemed to have an exam or lab the next morning at 8 a.m. But he was lovable, so it was okay. For the most part.

Tonks would come home from class for lunch - you know, food, a little relaxation, maybe a bit of TV. But no. She would walk into a completely darkened apartment to find fifteen people in the living room watching a Freddy Krueger marathon. This happened often. (I'm actually not sure that Davis has graduated yet - quite an accomplishment for a 1998 high school graduate).

Davis enjoyed turning the living room into a gymnasium using the couch as a trampoline. He would get a running start, vault off of the couch, and land with a thud in the middle of the room. This was how he cracked the ceiling of their neighbor below! Fantastic!

When Tonks and Missy (the third roommate) would come back from the bar all belligerent and whatnot, Davis would wait until one of them went into the bathroom. And he'd cut the circuit breaker. Being drunk in a dark bathroom must be super fun!

Or the time that Tonks got home from the library one night to find six people in the shower. Amazing! And that wasn't even the first time they flooded the place, which leaked down into their neighbor's apartment. Nope. Davis left the water running in the sink once before leaving the apartment (I think it's safe to assume that he wasn't going to class). Another flood!

Davis and his posse rigged a rope from their second story apartment to the ground, too. Because who needs a front door? Or security?

When they finally moved out, Kelly went upstairs to do a final cleaning of the place, and as she walked across the carpet, she noticed that she was leaving footprints. Yes, Davis and his friends thought that it would be hilarious to empty the contents of the fire extinguisher all over the room.

I've saved the best for last: Tonks would get ready in the morning and head to the kitchen before class to grab some food and a vitamin. She poured a nice glass of cold, fresh water from her Brita, popped the vitamin, and took a long drink of... vodka.

So yeah, I complain about my roommates (well, CreePaul, really). My apartment is always messy and there's always toothpaste globs and little hairs in the sink. But I've never unknowingly downed vodka for breakfast.