So there I was, minding my business in the left run lane, waiting for the light to change so that I could return to work, when I got kablammed.
His car slammed mine into the pickup truck in front of me and it was all SUPREMELY FUN, let me tell you.
My first reaction was to open up the door, look behind me, and scream, "WHAT THE HELL?" Luckily, the guy wasn't out of his car yet, so he didn't hear me.
(Apparently I was concerned about looking like an asshole. HE hit ME, you guys, and I was worried that I wasn't being nice. Sigh.)
LESSON ONE: It's okay to be mad.
Then the guy in front of me got out of his car to survey the damage (hint: there was no damage because his trailer hitch saved his Silverado from harm. The most harm that befell him was potentially a lit cigarette falling from his mouth when the bumper car madness began). He was also this close to screaming at me until he realized that I was just the meat in a car sandwich.
So Mr. Volvo gets out of the car and we (mostly him) held up the left turn lane for several rounds of lights until I announced that we were all going to turn into that Dollar Store parking lot FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
I wanted to call Mike, but I knew that he was in important meetings, so I called my dad. His "dad" voice changed to his "lawyer" voice and he told me to call the police.
Holy shit, the police?
(Also, please note that I did, in fact, text Mike: "Hi! My meeting went well! Also, I was just in a car accident. Waiting for the police!") Which brings us to:
LESSON TWO: DO give details of said crash to boyfriend so that he does not call you, immediately, in a panic.
Mike was a not thrilled with my text.
LESSON THREE: DO NOT get out of the car until the police officer let you.
I've never been in an accident before - at least, not one in which I was in the driver's seat, so I was completely ignorant on the ways things work. But I knew enough to call the non-emergency line instead of 911, and the super nice dispatcher sent over an officer.
It couldn't have been more than two minutes when I realized that a police car was parked behind us SO THAT WE COULDN'T LEAVE.
I got out of the car to speak with her, since I was the one to call, and she was all, "Ma'am, return to your vehicle. I will come to you."
But you know, in a "I will totally cut you" sort of voice.
Anyway, there wasn't much damage (compared to what I had done to the car my own damn self), so I didn't end up filing a claim. And no one was hurt, so it really wasn't a big deal in the scheme of things.
But it still sucked, and I wouldn't recommend getting into a car accident.