My deodorant has been discontinued, which I realize is a first-world problem and everything, and I should be bitching about the lack of affordable health care or whatever, but this is what is happening NOW. To ME.
I know that you're like me, because who switches deodorants when theirs hasn't been banished from the earth? Only weirdos, that's who. Since I was using Arrid for years, I haven't had to find a new one in... well, years. So I headed to Target and the travel size section.
Oh, and also? I sweat like a prostitute in church. So I need some heavy duty stuff.
First up: Degree Expert Protection Motion Sense:
Hello, Degree? "Fresh Energy" scent? FUCK OFF. Your scent gave me such a headache that I don't even fucking remember if you kept me from sweating. I don't remember! YOU SUCK YOU GO TO HELL.
Next, Arrid Extra Extra Dry Solid:
This is the same one that I used to use, but in a different scent. It is difficult to tell if it's for men or women, but since I'm not sweating through my shirts by 9 a.m., I think that it's a keeper for now. I have a really bad feeling that this is going to be phased out, too, so I might go raid the mom and pop pharmacy where I found it and ask for whatever they have in the storeroom.
FUNNY STORY TIME YOU GUYS.
Randomly (but not so randomly, I guess, since we're related), my cousin Christin and I seem to have the same body chemistry. We like the same perfumes in such a way that not only do they smell nice on each of us, but they smell exactly the same on each of us. Which is weird, right?
Anyway, whenever I find a perfume that I like, I go to Sephora and lie about never trying it so that I can get a sample and send it to her. And then she likes it, too and we dance about merrily. Well, I do. She lives in Arizona now, so I can't be sure if she also dances.
But I think that she does.
So I called her this weekend to ask her about her deodorant. As you do. Her answer, "Well, I used to use Arrid, but I can't find it anymore."
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
How strange is that, seriously? Family blood and whatnot. Ew.
Those are the only two I've tried so far, which I realize does not translate to a fair and balanced contest, but still. Christin just texted me that she tried Suave 24 hour protection invisible solid and that is was, "not bad," so that's a possible future contender.
Or I could just go back to nature.