Sunday, December 04, 2011



I don't know that there is a single inanimate object cuter than a onesie. I mean, LOOK:

Look at the dinosaurs' smiles. Incredible! I purchased two of these ADORABLE onesies for Mike's nephews, but they will never wear them because I am an idiot.


You might be wondering, "But Heather, what happened? That is the cutest dinosaur onesie ever! Children should wear those always! If they made that onesie in adult sizes, I'd be wearing one right now instead of this Snuggie!"

"I mean, wouldn't you be?"

HERE IS WHERE OUR STORY BEGINS. I have two nieces. Mike has three nephews. You would think that I would have figured things out by now, but ALAS I HAVE NOT.

This Christmas, I was (happily) tasked with purchasing the most adorable, comfy, dinosaur-y outfits imaginable for Mike's nephews, age: almost 2. I would have sent Mike to get them himself, but I have a feeling that it would not have ended well, I would have ended up at Target and/or Kohl's myself anyway, and time would have been wasted, the end.

And so, with explicit instructions to buy 12-month clothing, I went shopping.

"Hey! Idiots! The twins are like, 20 months old."

I found the CUTEST things: matching outfits (they are twins, after all), pajamas, shirts and pants... I saved an assload at Kohl's with their scratch-off coupon at the register and headed to Target to spend more!

"This isn't going to end well."

The next day, I shipped everything to Seattle and felt mighty proud of myself. Until Mike called on his lunch break:

"What size clothes did I tell you to get for the twins?"

Heather, confidently, "Twelve months."

Long pause.

Mike, dejectedly, "Yeah. They're almost two."

Heather and Mike, simultaneously, "Fuck."

And then I got to go shopping again! I figured that it would be easier, but let me tell you, IT WAS NOT. Shopping for infants is easy. Colors are important, but not tantamount. Onesies are not only acceptable, they're pretty much mandatory.

It gets so much more complicated when they get older. There are many levels of complication:

First off, there are about eleventy billion more options of clothing for little girls. Like, 90% of the children's clothing is for girls. I mean, obviously that's great when you have girls to buy for, but I did not. And it was frustrating.

Secondly, two year-olds don't really wear onesies that much, right? I wish they would. Onesies, as mentioned earlier, are the best and the cutest. Why can't they just be babies forever??!?

Third, girls can wear whatever they want. If they like outfits with dinosaurs or trucks or football, they are totally welcome to wear them, and hopefully are encouraged to wear them if that is what they like. So not only can they already wear 90% of the toddler clothing, they have access to the remaining 10%. Boys aren't so much um... able to wear pink princess shirts without inviting unwanted commentary and parental criticism.

Not that I would buy pink clothes for Mike's nephews, even if I wanted to, but you know what I mean.

"I would totally wear Disney princess pajamas,
but that's because I am a pterodactyl."

ANYWAY. I found new clothes. They were purchased and mailed to Seattle. The 12-month clothing was donated. All is well. I remain - and Mike remains - stupid for not remembering how damn old the twins were as of December 2011.


MINI RANT: Is 24-month clothing the same as 2T? If so, WHY HAVE THEM BOTH? Why do you buy months-sizing for a while, and then switch to "T" sizes? Are those ages? I DON'T KNOW. Conspiracy.

Oh, and not only is Mike's sister preggers with another boy (Four boys! Kill me!), my lovely sister-in-law, Kari, is pregnant as well (sex of child TBD in March)! So I'm thinking that I should probably figure this out, and figure it out soon.

Or at least keep a better calendar.


The Mommasaurus said...

You forgot to tell everyone that even *I* knew how old Mike's nephews are, hahaha.

Sunny said...

The stuff was cute, too bad it didn't fit. But the new stuff is very cute, as well. They are well-outfitted in dino gear now. :)

And they are my boys, and while I do know what sizes fit them (natch), I don't understand the overall system at all. 24 months versus 2T... then they drop the "T" and it goes from 4T to 4. What's the difference between 4T and 4, you ask? Why, a "T" of course. Duh.

Deals On Wheels said...

Thor has not one but TWO dino prints in his nursery.

I knew this would make you proud.

lem said...

Ok, I wore footie pajamas until I was like 6 because they are super warm and comfortable. Isn't that basically the same thing as a onesie with a different name? (I realize the closure is different.) Thanks HP for making me stumble on this:
Get your very own Barbie adult footie pajamas!

Heather said...

momma - Yes, this is true. Even my friend, who has barely even met Mike, let alone his sister, knew how old the twins were. However, I think that the fact that you have kids of your own disqualifies you. I think that perhaps you remember kids' ages based on the ages of your own children.

That is a theory.

Heather said...

sunny - I'm glad that you enjoyed the new stuff! And until they are too old, remember to never buy them dinosaur clothes/toys/etc. Because I will. :)

Heather said...

deals - I LOVE THIS. Also, would love to see said prints.

Heather said...

lem - True, true. Onesies then become footie pajamas. But then they are only pajamas, not both. Either way, I don't know that I would be able to wear footie pajamas, even though I now know that they come in adult sizes - my feet would be trapped. And VERY angry.