Monday, December 19, 2011

For Sale: One Kick-Ass Magic Couch

It is with deep regret that I must say goodbye to one of the best couches ever created:

Color: Blue...ish, lightly faded
Measurements: Who cares? It can go anywhere! It's practically an accessory!
Manufacturer: The great Ikea (Ektorp series)

For just a small dip into your wallet, you can own a third-hand couch! And it is a GLORIOUS couch. Let me tell you more:

-I bought it used from a super sweet gay couple in Thomas Circle in the summer of 2003. They were "completely redecorating" and were not planning on "blue."

-During the relocation (in Dealey's Montero) from Thomas Circle to Arlington, we forgot the feet. So it sits quite low to the ground directly on the frame. But this is okay! It is not at all a problem! Falling into the couch is romantical.

-It is slip-covered, and therefore washable. I mean, I assume that it's washable.

-It has lived many places, including its current home in a storage unit. It has never known cold, and that is why I need to find a new home for it. Before it gets really cold.

-I have only heard rumors about hook-ups on the couch. As I did not witness these supposed events, I choose to believe that the rumors are false. No sex on this couch! I have spoken!

-I am almost positive that no one has vomited on, near, or around the couch.

-There have been children on this couch, but they are adorable children. Here's one now:

"I love Aunt Heather's couch!"

-Is comfortable to EVERYONE. When six-foot tall K-10 would visit, she preferred to sleep on the MAGIC COUCH rather than a bed. Did the MAGIC COUCH alter its length to accommodate her? IT IS ENTIRELY POSSIBLE. Also, falling asleep on the couch is like a pastime. Here is Merrick, asleep only 3.7 seconds after sitting on the couch:

Granted, we'd had a long day, but still.

Remember earlier, when I mentioned a "small dip into your wallet?" Yeah, you can just have it for a song. Or some ice cream. Whichever makes you most comfortable. Magic couch just needs a good home!


Deals On Wheels said...

OMG! I totally forgot about that time we moved it and part of me was convinced it might fall out the back along the way! And you had me drive in the right lane to avoid all the people in the left lane that would inevitably want to make a left. True, the left looked faster, but you were alway correct and the right won every time. I still think of that as sound advice and follow it to this day.

And, wait, wasn't there an issue getting it IN your apartment? Because of a wall or something?

If only we had had blogs then we'd remember all the gory details.

Heather said...

deals - If anyone knew the ways and means of GLEBE ROAD, it was me. And then yes, there was a closet directly in front of the entrance, and we had to get all ninja with the couch in order to get it into the apartment.