Thursday, March 17, 2011

And I Am Telling You That It's Too Effing Warm

I was going to start this post with, "I don't mean to complain..." but we all know that I most definitely mean to complain, so I have prepared a brand new opening statement for you!

Mother Nature is on freaking crack and can go to Hell.

There, I said it.

I know that by living in Michigan, I should know better than to blindly accept what the weatherman tells me, because, more often than not, it's going to be not only wrong, but wildly and inexcusably wrong.

The forecast today, on this green-like St. Patrick's Day, was 50 degrees. Low and behold, it is close to 70 degrees out there, and the students are running amok like they have never seen the sun before. If I had fewer scruples (which I guess is possible), I would post pictures of the morons in their revelry wear. Green, next-to-nothing, skin-tight clothing.

It's fine, they're young, good for them and their fast metabolisms! I am not jealous at all.

But I do take issue with the weather.

Why do I have issue with a sunny, 70-degree day in mid-March in Michigan? Because it's NOT TIME YET.

Yesterday, it was 40-something degrees. Today it's 70? What the hell, Mother Nature? Do we just not get spring this year? Are we jumping ahead to summer? You're skipping the best degrees! The 60s!

Spring and Fall are the best seasons in Michigan precisely because of their mild, moderate temperaments, and if I don't get to experience them, I am going to lose my fucking mind.


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