"Hey, man. I'm a starling, and though annoying and territorial, I am still a better candidate for that suet. Because I am a BIRD, and you are a FAT ASS SQUIRREL who clearly does not need to chow down on food intended for BIRDS."
"Oh really, fool? Then why would the lady of the house place this lovely suet at such a convenient juncture? She already hung the feeder full of delectable seeds out of my reach (though I am sure to outsmart her soon enough), so this is payback. Just retreat from my dinner table. Away!"
"Ha! Now that the obnoxious iridescent bird is gone, I can gorge myself on this stuff. Nom, nom, nom. I wonder what it really is, anyway."(Editor's note: Suet is raw beef or mutton fat, especially the hard fat found around the loins and kidneys. It is especially fattening, making it a good choice for birds in the colder months.)
"What? That's DISGUSTING."...
"Nom, nom, nom."
5 comments:
You know they put that in mince pie.
that is an obese squirrel! I'm impressed it can even make it all the way up to your railing...
lem - Um, ew! Glad that I've never had that. It seems like a very British thing, doesn't it? Suet. Gross.
joshy - I know, he's a freaking land monster. I feel bad for discriminating, but seriously? He doesn't need it.
He is nothing. You should see this squirrel I have happened upon near the reflecting pool trees. He was one of those evil black squirrels and was so large (prob from eating the trash the tourists throw away) he could barely hop. He looked more like a small cat.
shane - The evil black squirrels are evil! A small cat, though. You crack me up.
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