Monday, May 06, 2013

There's Always a Silver Lining

I was falling in slow motion.  I heard the bones snap as I lowered myself to the ground.  I knew that my foot was stuck in something, and I knew that the outcome wasn't going to be pleasant, but I really didn't think that my simple misstep was going to result in this:

I was hoping that it was just twisted.  That it could be popped back into place. (Spoiler: it couldn't.)

I don't completely remember what I sounded like during the incident, but I imagine that it was something like this:

Yeah, that sounds about right. 

I tried to be optimistic, but I knew that it was broken. I heard the bone snap.

Going to the ER was a much better experience than my last two visits.  I was not left to my own defenses in a bed in a hallway, and I did not have to get stitches in my skull.

This time, I was practically the only person there, things happened quickly, and before I knew it, I had in IV in my hand and I blacked out.

Thank goodness, because I missed the part where the orthopedic surgeon rearranged my fucking foot. And when I awoke, I was too high to feel anything. 

Surgery is scheduled for May 13, and shit's gonna get real - they're putting in a metal plate and some screws and Lord knows what else.  So I've set up my "Recuperation Station" in the living room:

Yes, that is a bag of bottlecaps under the HGTV magazines.

So you might be wondering about this supposed "silver lining" referenced in the title.  There are several.  Here they are, in no particular order:

--Mike isn't traveling as much, so he's home taking care of me. This is awesome because I hate it when he's gone. Sometimes there is Taco Bell. 

--Kari comes to visit and brings the baby and we get lunch and Biggby and it's pretty much awesome.

--My parents come over and take me shopping and to the library and cook food for me and clean the house and do the laundry.  It's incredible.

--Kelly got me a wheelchair from her work and I am able to get my peg-leg self around SO MUCH FASTER than I was.  Because I was using crutches and also just scooting around on my ass.  Which is still how I go up and down the stairs, by the way.

--I can't drive or go to work for three weeks.  When I can't drive, I can't take myself places to spend money. Which is good because I am not working.

--Arrested Development Season 4 is going to be released on Netflix IN FULL on May 26 and I am going to binge-watch ALL OF THE SHOW without worrying about staying up too late.

So those are the things that make all of this bearable.  The vicodin helps, too.


Waayers said...

Oh noes! Sorry to hear about your plight. At least your toes look pretty! :)

Mom M said...

Is it me or does it sound like you are on vacation? Someone cooking and cleaning for you...someone driving you around town...hmmm. That all sound good to me! The Real Housewives of Canton!
Sending a hug!

mush said...

Another oh noes! I haven't stopped by in a while (obviously a LONG while) and you're breaking bones! I see no posts for a while also. Hope you ankle is better. I saw this and immediately thought of you. Happy holiday season almost!